Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Thank You



Thank you to all who served.  I know not one of you would dare call yourselves a hero but that's OK.  I call you hero.  And to "my" vet a very Happy Veterans Day.  I hope you enjoy your day off.  You deserve it.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

I'm Still Here!

I'm still here!  Sorry for the little blogging hiatus but I just needed to recharge for a bit.  There really wasn't a lot going on for awhile and then September hit and there was lots going on.  I did some traveling which was nice (although 5 hours in a car with two kids made me feel compassion for my parents!  Sorry Mom and Dad!)  There have been a few changes.  I have yet another new job as of last week.  It was necessary for various reasons.  Anyway it's done and things are better.

One of the highlights of the month was the weekend of my high school reunion--there's NO WAY it's been 25 years!!  I invited a friend to town to go with me.  He arrived Friday night and I didn't get to meet him until late.  It was worth the wait.  He came downstairs and met me in the parking lot and as soon as we got to the room I was in his arms.  We spent the entire weekend together--practically the whole time in bed.  We did go to the dinner Saturday night but I wound up blowing off all the other reunion activities.  There was something else to blow.  ;)  It had been quite awhile since I've had a session like that but I so needed it.

It's been a few years since I was in a relationship with someone full-time and I forgot how wonderful it is just to touch someone and be touched.  The sex was pretty great--don't get me wrong.  Just being held after and lying in his arms as he stroked my back is what makes me smile when I think of that weekend.  To look at him, I never would have guessed he was such a cuddler!  Even watching football he pulled me down on the sofa and wrapped his arms around me.  That quickly led to us jumping back in bed.  All in all it was a wonderful weekend and I was delightfully sore on Monday morning.

I'm not sure where this is going since it is a long distance "relationship."  The internet and all the technology makes covering the distance a lot more convenient, of course.  We call or text or IM every night.  We even have certain TV shows that are "ours" that we watch together.  The distance isn't too great and I'm hoping to spend some more time with him for my birthday in a few weeks.  Could I be seeing the end of my "prowling" days?

Probably not since last night I drunk-texted my ex.  WTF is WRONG with me?!?!?!?  Can somebody just shoot me, please!  My only excuse is that I was lonely.  Fortunately as I re-read this morning there was nothing too cringeworthy--nor even suggestive (I know right!).  Whew!   BUT  I don't think I will ever get over my affinity for the Garden State men.  There's just something about them.

In other news, I seem to have got my act together on the "Getting In Shape" plan.  I've dropped 18 lbs!! Just in time for jean season.  :)  Only a few more pounds before my goal date.

To my friends in the blogosphere, it's good to be back.  Missed yall.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

I Will NEVER Forget



I. WILL.NEVER.FORGET.

Thank you to all who served.  I know you don't think you're heroes.  I KNOW you are.  My heroes are the ones who do what I can't.  They are nurses, doctors, soldiers, firemen, policemen, teachers.  For that,  I thank you all.  To all those who lost someone on 9/11, God bless you.  Please don't ever forget.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Sooo Close!

I was looking forward to the weekend on Friday afternoon as usual.. "Is it 5 o'clock yet!?"  I had been chatting with a new friend all week and we were anticipating getting together on Saturday.  But first my Mom was leaving town and going on a cruise for a week so I took her out for a nice dinner.  She has been suffering for awhile with a hamstring pull and sprained knee so I packed the car for her.  It was a nice relaxed evening and I really enjoyed spending time with her.

Saturday morning bloomed and I was up early anticipating meeting my new friend whom I'll call ST.  I grabbed coffee and jumped in the shower.  I called Mom and she was heading North the same time I was heading South.  It was a beautiful day..hot and humid but ST had found a great place to meet on the lake surrounded by lovely shade.  I arrived before him and played with the kids on the playground and took turns on the swings.  Finally he was there and I walked over and gave him a hug and we headed off on the trail around the lake.  We talked for hours and finally we went for lunch and had a great time.  He had to get going so we returned to park and did the somewhat awkward first kiss which turned into a great 2nd kiss! Eventually we let go and headed our separate ways.

As I was driving home I was jamming to the music feeling the NRE coursing through me.  I noticed the sky north of me..directly over my hometown.  The sky looked eerie. We get bad storms here in summer but this looked ominous.  Black, purple-green evil looking clouds.  I drove into some rain but nothing too bad.  I went to the grocery store and turned down my street.  It looked like a war zone!  Trees and power lines down everywhere.  Lawn furniture and stuff in street.  Of course we had no power at the house.  I headed downstairs and looked around. "OH FUCK"  There was red mud everywhere!  along with a couple of inches of water!

(Un)Fortunately I've got experience with flooded basements.  I mopped up mud and grabbed shop vac and towels.  I worked all night and eventually collapsed.  I had good company though..the VT-Ohio St. game was on.  HOW ABOUT THEM HOKIES!  They beat Ohio State on the road!  Enter Sandman!

So before turning in I decided to get some fresh air and went out on the back porch.  I turned on the light and turned around and saw something very weird.  There was a light shining on something in the yard. I decided to investigate further and turned on the floodlights.  When I rounded the corner, I gasped.  There was a downed tree laying in my yard literally within an INCH of my HOUSE! I know it wasn't there earlier.  I had left the house for 10 minutes to go get supplies for cleanup so it must have fell then.  Thank God my house was still intact and no one was home or hurt. I immediately turned around, went inside and said "Fuck this shit" and poured myself a rather stiff drink

I woke up way too early Sun. morning and took a closer look around the war zone that was my house.  Sure enough there is a 2nd tree down at the bottom of my yard but it was OK.  The basement was drying out but the foul stench was setting in..YUCK!  I used every chemical known to man to try and help.  I escaped to a friend's place and returned home to find things much improved.  Arriving home and thinking all was well,  I stepped out on my back porch, turned on the light only to be confronted by a snake climbing down the wall...OMFG!!!  I at least kept it from going into house.

IT'S VERY RARE THAT I WILL EVER, EVER SAY THIS...but I think I'm looking forward to Monday!!


Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Wait! Where Did It Go?


The sun is setting on Summer.  :(

Summer that is?  I know it's been awhile since I posted but I can't believe Summer is almost gone.  I wish I could say I've been away doing all kinds of exciting things and meeting all kinds of men and having some hot sex. Sadly that isn't the case.  It's been kind of slow this year in that regard.  OK..it's been nonexistent! About the time I was writing my post about thinking about sex ALL the time, the Fates were laughing at me. I was given a new position at work and I don't have time to pee--much less look at all your wonderful blogs or Tumblr.

However, September is looking up!  I have a few trips planned this month to see family and friends.  I also have a big event in town at the end of the month and a friend is coming in to attend with me.  Also, it's my favorite time of the year:  FOOTBALL SEASON!  Despite my team's ridiculously underwhelming season last year, I'm still excited.  I am a Redskins fan (yes, I still call them that!--Enough! Just change the name already and be done with it!) and desperately hoping RG3 can stay healthy.

For the most part things have been going well.  I'm enjoying being employed again and having a little "jingle" in my pocket sure doesn't hurt.  The "getting into shape" has slowed considerably, however.  I have no excuse.  Of course, now with all these things going on, I am more motivated.  I need to make a big push in the next few weeks to knock off at least a few pounds.

I haven't really "met" anyone new online this year and the last time I checked Ashley Madison pickings were very slim.  I did have one little adventure this summer with an old friend but it wasn't as exciting as I'd hoped it would be although the surroundings were luxurious.  Always nice to be invited to a 5-star resort.  Too bad it didn't result in any 5-star sex.

So that was my summer.  I hope you all had a good one.  As much as I hate the approach of cold weather, I do really enjoy the changing seasons.  I am blessed to live in one of the truly beautiful areas of the country in the fall of the year. Too bad all of that beautiful foliage likes to land in my yard!  Oh well, it's still fun to run and jump in the leaves.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

I Need..

Tonight I need a man.  Not a boy..but a MAN..in every sense of the word.   The Alpha.

Take control.  Throw that door open, stalk into the room loosening your tie, your eye narrowing as you see me kneeling..as you requested.

I whimper.  Pant and catch my breath..your passion matches my own.  I close my eyes and drink in your presence. Your scent.

I feel you circle me.  Pacing. Impatient.  I daren't look at you.  My back arches slightly with tension.  I'm barely breathing.  Roughly your hands are in my hair..pulling me up. You ravage me with your mouth..pull my hair..your hands encircle my throat.  I completely bend myself to your will..arching into you.

And then.  I feel the blood rising..pulsing under my skin.  Wait..she remembers.  This is about what I NEED. Right. Fucking. Now.  I rip off your shirt.  Claw your chest..rake your nipples.  My lips are nipping at your neck.  Hands fumbling, hips rubbing against your crotch.  Grinding hard against you.  Hands diving and rip your pants down..I greedily reach for what I desire. 

I take a fleeting glance into your eyes before I devour you..taking you into my hot, wet sweetness.  Tongue encircling you, tracing you, licking you from base to tip.  Moving lower, dirtier, swallow your sack.  A finger tracing your bud, penetrating.  Air is still..breath held..

I almost feel weightless for a moment..and then you plunge into me.  Heavily, forcefully, FUCKING ME.  YES!  Use me..I'm yours.  Rip me as I rip you.  Completely, totally.  Leave me bruised, as I will leave you torn and shredded.

But damn, I am oh so complete.  For the moment...


   

  

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Class of 89

The dick pic.  As a member of a few dating sites over the past few years, I have often been the recipient of unsolicited--and admittedly quite a few asked-for--dick pix.  I find the claim of the girl in the video linked below that she has never received a dick pic a little dubious especially in this free porn era.  Regardless the video is pretty funny.  Her friends ever so graciously put together a slideshow of such pix for her and came up with 89 (hence the title of this post).  You get to see for yourself her reaction as each dick is revealed in all its glory and the comments are quite amusing.




As for me..I've stated here several times before on this blog..it isn't the dick..it's the MAN..the mind..the imagination...that dick is attached to.  That is what "gets" me. Every.Single.Time.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Baby Get Ready!!

I've mentioned before here how much I love to dance.  I haven't really mentioned the music much.  I , like most of us, have an eclectic play list.  I have everything from Sinatra to Tchaikovsky, Etta James to Charlie Daniels, Adele to a one-hit-wonder college band that used to play on our campus.  That's a little of what I like but I want to ask the readers: what is YOUR sexy song?

You know. What song puts you "in the mood", makes you flashback to those sexy fun times of your youth or yesterday?  Certain songs are meant to do that.  Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" and "Sexual Healing" and I think a lot of people would say Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game."  (which is most definitely a very sexy song) But are there other songs more obscure?  We are all so unique and I'm curious (read nosy).  Here are a few of mine listed below.


Probably an unusual choice for most.  The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band's "Fishin' in the Dark"  But it includes the line which is the title of this post.  "Baby get ready!"  For what? Gets me excited..like anything could happen tonight! Makes me want to put on a little sundress and find a fishing hole in the middle of the night."where we'll be moving slow."


Moving on..to Bob Seger.  I absolutely ADORE a man with a deep, sexy, husky voice and Mr .Seger has that going on in spades!  Plus he has his "Night Moves" down pat!  But there's this one song that drives me crazy..(well more than one) but this is the one that comes to mind first.  "Shame on the Moon."  I also love "Turn the Page".  Its mostly about being lonely on the road during his extensive cross country tours..BUT there are those incredibly sexy saxophone solos.  Very hot!

And I'm sure I'm going to hell for this choice..but Josh Turner has the deepest most sexiest Voice EVER.  I REALLY want to ride "His Long Black Train."


And hell if God doesn't want us to ride "The Long Black Train" then why the hell did he send the man with the sexiest voice ever to sing that song!!  I sense a conspiracy!

This list could be endless: there is: Springsteen's "I'm on Fire", Maroon 5's "Moves Like Jagger", the classic Rolling Stones "Beast of Burden" and "Miss You". My list of sexy songs could go on and on.  I hope you want to share yours







Wednesday, July 16, 2014

I Can't Get No...Satisfaction

Yes, it's definitely true lately I.AM.NOT.GETTING.ANY.SATISFACTION.  

However, this is actually not about me (whew..for once).  There's a new show debuting on the USA Network this week called Satisfaction.  (Thurs at 10pm)  At first the trailers were kind of vague about what the subject of the show involved.  As the date has drawn near, it seems the show is going to be about marital infidelity and somehow that may possibly evolve into male prostitution.  The gigolo part of the story doesn't really pique my interest (well, I suppose I'll see) but the trailer does ask the question "Can having an affair save your marriage?"

It is a question I've seen posed on various boards where I sometimes read.  There, the general consensus seems to be "yes, it can."  Of course, these people are mostly having affairs and that's why they read there so they are somewhat biased.  I am pretty interested in seeing what the more "general population" thinks of the show and see if it generates any buzz.  Of course, I am not married but have been involved with several married men which is why this caught my eye.  I have definitely set up my DVR to record it and will be checking it out.  I'm including a link to the trailer in case anyone is interested.  Maybe I'll put up a follow up post if the show seems worthy.  



Hope you're having a nice week!  Happy Hump Day!  

Monday, July 14, 2014

Perfect Pool Day

I don't normally do this on the blog.  Post pictures.  But quite honestly I could use the ego boost.


I'm not feeling down or depressed.  I think I'm just stuck.  It's been quite some time since I got any and I'm trying hard and feel like I'm not getting anywhere.  It's feast or famine around here.  The feasts are fleeting and this famine is farflung.

I actually had a date Saturday night.  It was nice, we had fun, he was a nice guy but there was absolutely zero attraction on my part.  So now I will have to do "the let him down gently" email.  Sigh.   I seem to always have a guy or two around online to chat with.  But they are all too far away to just hop in their car come over and END this famine. I'm tired.  It seems like I'm putting in all the effort for very little reward lately.

I shouldn't complain.  It truly was a wonderful weekend.  Friday night was a great summer night.  It was cool, low humidity, a full moon and just a perfect evening spent on my back porch chatting and drinking with friends.  Saturday was date night and we went to a nearby town and had a lovely dinner and then went downtown to the square and listened to some live music while having drinks and again enjoying a lovely summer night. Yesterday was spent at the pool with my nephew swimming and splashing with him and cheering him on doing back and front flips off the diving board.  (the child is a naturally gifted athlete).  All while secretly ogling the very nice eye candy at the pool.

In other news, the shaping up plan is going well.  I've now lost 10 lbs--a quarter of the way to my goal--and I'm more determined than ever to reach it by my birthday in the fall.  I got into clothes this week that I haven't worn in a year.  Thank goodness I can get back into my "little" shorts and am looking better and feeling much more confident these days.  The new job is going well and I am incredibly busy these days.  The Hot New Guy is still in the picture and I just canNOT seem to stop looking at his pix.  I may have a chance to get out of town this weekend to see another friend and spend some quality time with him.

So to quote Zac Brown.."life is good today.... life is good today. Adios and vaya con Dios"

Sunday, July 6, 2014

FFF-July 4th-Let Freedom Ring!

  • Key Phrase: "Let Freedom Ring"
  • Word Limit:  294
  • Forbidden Words: Independance, Revolution
  • Extra Credit:  Tell me how I came up with the word limit
  • Bonus Words: Tell us about a special holiday Romp
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry this is a little bit late.  I started writing it before I left to go out of town and meant to finish it in the hotel Thursday night.  Of course, I walked off and forgot it.  BOY do I wish I had been laying in the hotel room writing FFF instead of what happened.  I'm over it.  It's done and what happened doesn't deserve to be even a little blip on this blog.  Sorry to be cryptic but that's all I'm going to say.  
I hope you all had a wonderful 4th!


*****************************************************
She stood on the deck and watched as the yacht pulled into port at yet another cosmopolitan city.  She looked longingly at the shore.  This city was much closer to home.  She grew up in a small town in Georgia. The yacht was docking in New Orleans.  She looked longingly to the east.

Auguste watched her as she stood against the rail, she looked as sexy as she ever had when he had rescued her from that podunk town.  How fortunate his limo had broken down that day.  She looked so fetching and innocent while she poured his sweet tea.  Now she is a sophisticated woman of the world.   He approached her silently and she smiled as she turned toward him and reached up to plant a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Come, my dear Raquelle.  We must get dressed for the party.  I have laid out your clothes for you.  This is a very important meeting.  I need you at your finest tonight, chere."

Raquelle looked at him in surprise.  He had never taken an interest in what she wore other than to expect her to look her finest for him.  She always tried to comply.  She squealed in delight upon seeing the lovely dress and the jewelry box laying on the bed.  The sapphire necklace was stunning.

He met her at the stairs.  "You look perfect, darling.  I have to make a very important business connection tonight so I'm afraid you may be on your own more than usual."

"That's ok, Auguste.  I'm sure I can find a way to entertain myself.  I'm sure the other wives are as bored as I am."  She patted his arm.  "Shall we go?"

Raquelle wandered the room.  She had lied to Auguste.  All the other wives despised her.  As if she'd want their husbands!   They were polite only to salvage their husband's business opportunities with Auguste's many holdings.  She stopped and grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter.  She was sipping it and watching the entrance when HE entered the room.  She stood up a little straighter and kept her eyes down and watched as he made his way to the bar.

He was just her type: tall, broad, solidly built, close cut salt and pepper hair, neatly trimmed goatee (wink), confident.  Definitely an alpha male.  She saw the others in the room turning his way.  He got a drink at the bar and turned.

Blushing she quickly looked down as he had caught her blatantly staring--hopefully not with mouth open!  He raised his glass to her and appraised her slowly.  Suddenly remembering she scanned the room for Auguste. He was in a corner surrounded by his cronies.  The gentleman worked the room and they began the dance. She walked ahead and he pursued.  She noticed him bearing down and quickly stepped out to get some air.

His voice was velvety smooth and deep behind her.  "So I caught you at last.  What is your name?"

"Raquelle."  She hesitated to ask his and then she thought she didn't want to know.  She took his arm as they walked out of the ballroom.

It was an amazing night of passion.  He gave her everything Auguste could not.  But the next morning the guilt overwhelmed her as she quickly dressed and slipped away.  She gasped when she opened the door.  She looked down in shame.  Auguste lifted her chin and looked into her eyes.

"So Raquelle did you enjoy the evening I arranged for you?"  She looked up in surprise.  "You don't think I see how sad, how homesick you are.  I am a wealthy man, yes, but an old one.  No, quiet, ma chere.  This was my gift to you for treating an old man so well for all these years."

She threw her arms around him.  "May we please go home, now?"  They wrapped their arms around each and walked into their future.

**************
I loved this prompt and the woman in the picture above is absolutely beautiful.  Again, I apologize for being late.  Please head over to see Advizor and all the other entries and if I'm not mistaken, next week's prompt has already been posted.


Thursday, July 3, 2014

Paper

They say you learn more during your first year of life than you ever will again.  They also say the first year of marriage is the hardest and I'm sure it's true of many things.  Monday was my one year anniversary writing this blog.  And I must say the first year has been amazing!  I've made so many new friends through this blog and developed some wonderful relationships.  It has been a blast!  The wonderful comments and the interaction among the "blogosphere" has been all that I hoped for and more.  I thank you all!

You may have noticed I completely re-designed the blog.  I thought this was the perfect time to do that.  I'm really pleased with the new design.  Feels more modern. More me.  There's another change I want to make. I want to take more risks with my writing.  Mostly I've relayed info about various hook-ups/anecdotes that happened in the recent past or the present...which are fun to write, no doubt.  Which is fine, it feels like the "getting-to-know-you phase when dating.  I want to get deeper with my writing.  For some reason I've been a little hesitant to put myself out there on some issues.   I'm sure it's a self-esteem issue.  But I've got to get over it.  This is my blog and I can write what I want!  I want to get a little deeper.

Honestly there was a time when I didn't think this little blog was going to make it.  I got down and discouraged and depressed when I was out of work.  I couldn't muster the energy to post anything.  I would have regretted it so much if I had let this die.  I'm glad I made it through.   I'm sure that time will come but not now.  I feel energized, happy and just ready to take on the world right now.  I'm in love with writing again!

As for the title of this post, I feel I should explain.  Paper is the traditional wedding gift that etiquette sites suggest as the gift on the first wedding anniversary.  And while I'm not married, I felt it was apropos.  I write in the traditional way normally.  Many of these posts here began with pen to paper.  So paper is my gift.

Monday, June 30, 2014

Nevermind

I found the cure for thinking about sex "too" much.  WATERPARKS!!!!!  All you think about there is death, torture and destruction.  Yours and everyone else's.  Screaming kids, yelling parents (and I'm ashamed to say I was one of them during an "episode" with my niece), kids pushing you out of their way.  Worse--adults pushing you out of the way.  Rowdy, stupid teenagers roughhousing in the wave pool and the list could go on and on.

But certainly not my kids(niece and nephew)...they were perfect little devils....ummmm angels.  (To their extreme credit, they uttered not a word on the way home while I was navigating Waterpark City's rush hour traffic.) The incidents passed and everyone had a great time while enjoying perfect weather--84 and sunny..when it was forecast to be in the 90's today!  I texted Rob that I was "gonna need a carton of cigarettes and a gallon of vodka when I got home....lol"   All in all, it turned out well.  Good start to the vacation.  One good thing, kids exhausted and in bed BEFORE 8 o'clock.

P.S.  My preferred mode of transportation: lazy river!

P.P.S.  Thank you very much for your thoughts on my post today.  A lot of you contacted me off the blog to let me know that apparently I'm "normal.  Ha!  What the hell do y'all know!?  LOL.  Again thanks so much.

Too Much?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

A Cool Change


Tomorrow is a pretty big day at ye olde Simple N Sexy blog.  So I thought I would take the time and do a little redecorating so to speak.  I never was thrilled with the original template but it worked.  This one feels more like me.  I like it. A lot!

Last week was unreal.  By Friday afternoon I honestly thought my head would explode.  I don't recall a time I had so many positive and negative thoughts going on all at once.  I was (and am still) a jumbled mess of emo!  Thankfully I am on vacation all next week and will have time to gather my thoughts.  I've done a lot of writing this weekend and that always helps.

I also want to say how very happy I am for Rob and his latest adventure.  I was very shocked to receive his text the other night.  And then I was very pissed when he teased me..lol.  He really had no idea how close to death he was!  I was thrilled when he agreed to call and talk it out with me.  It was wonderful to hear his voice.  I'm so glad this was such a positive experience for him.

The "Shaping Up" plan is going well.  I'm down 8lbs now and only 2 away from my 4th of July goal of losing 10.  It's good to know that I've done it before and I WILL do it again!  Losing weight, I mean.   It's funny once I get my head straight and get determined, the weight seems to fall off.  Getting my head straight is the hardest part by far.

I'm working hard for this body and it's way past time to put it to good use!  And I may have the chance this week while I'm off.  I've mentioned briefly that I've been chatting with a hot new guy.  (For some reason I'm having a hard time thinking of a name for him here so I think I'm going with HNG).  He is very attractive and has opened the door to a very titillating possibility.   I hope we get the chance to meet.  So far its been fun and very hot.

Well, I'm off to the pool.  Hope you're having as good a weekend as I am!

And she walks off singing "Vacation's all I ever wanted.  Vacation have to get away!"

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Are They Better?

The other day Rob and I were chatting and realized that next week would be the 1 year anniversary of our 1st hookup.  We both then began reading back in our blogs recalling fond memories (ummmm bent over a chair in the office..being fucked from behind..sorry got distracted).  This led to what I thought was a pretty hilarious chat.  I thought it was funny and I hope it doesn't turn out to be an "I guess you had to be there" post.  As an aside Rob and I are no longer hooking up but remain good friends.

Rob: Oh I checked my blog...our first date was July 8 last year.

Me: Wow. A year ago.

Rob: Yep, hehe

Me: OK now I gotta go read both our posts again...lol.

Rob: I'm re-reading a bunch of mine from last summer, lol.

Me: That was a good summer :)

Rob: Yep :)

(a little later on) Me: OK I gotta stop reading blog posts and looking at your pix.  Otherwise I might drive to xyz and attack!  lol

Rob: Rofl

Me: Plus someone gave me cucumbers and they're sitting on my desk...And all I can think is "are cucumbers better than men?" Lmao!!

Rob: Now there's a picture I'm getting in my head...you with a cucumber :D

(a little while later I text him back after driving to my Mom's for lunch--giggling all the way)

Me: I'm not fucking a cucumber and sending you pix!  Lol  Altho one is kind of girthy...and the other has the gspot curve...lol

Me: I just keep picturing getting busted and my Mom saying "eat your veggies..don't fuck em" lol

Rob: Rofl..no reason you can't do both.

(Pic sent of the cukes--actual one is above)

Later that night I went back to my Mom's for dinner and of course I had given the cukes to her.  We had lasagna and a salad.  I was giggling again when I asked my Mom to "Pass the cucumbers, please."

Hope you enjoyed the little anecdote as much as I did.
*******
I thought I'd give a little update too about a few things.  The "getting in shape" finally seems to be paying off. I've lost 5 lbs and I've been walking just about every night for a few miles.  I know I've lost inches and my clothes are fitting looser. I just wish I was seeing more results on the scale.  But I'm not getting discouraged and I'm pretty determined to knock off those pounds.

Plus I have some pretty good inspiration to keep working out.  I've been chatting with the hottest guy the last few days.  I'm pretty excited about it.  Dontcha love NRE!! He's not in my town but fairly close by.  Close enough that we can meet in the middle anyway.  Next week I am on vacation but not going out of town so this means we are working hard on setting something up.  I set myself a goal next week.  To get laid or die trying!  Of course, I'll proceed with caution and the usual safety arrangements (meet in public, text a friend, etc).  It's the 4th of July and I need some fireworks!!

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Toes in the Sand

First and foremost let me wish all the blog fathers out there a very Happy Father's Day!   I miss my Dad very much.  He looked so big and tough but was a total teddy bear...he had such a tender heart.  Love and miss ya so much!

This will be kind of a "random thoughts" post.  I know I haven't written much lately but it's been so crazy since I went back to work.  I seem to have a life again!  :)


> I had so much fun at the beach!  It was a family trip so no shenanigans as expected.  It was very relaxing and I definitely enjoyed all the eye candy on the beach.  There was the usual assortment of hot 20-somethings but I found my eye was still drawn to the late-30s-early-50 something MEN.  They are just so hot, confident and super SEXY!

>OMG..it is imPOSSIBLE to get a bottle of vodka in MB after 7pm on Sat nite....wtf!!!

>Normally I'm so sad leaving the ocean but this time..I will be HOME ALONE for 4 nights!  Peace and quiet at last.  I love, love, love  the Brown Eyed Girl (niece) and my Lil Man (nephew) but just gimme a break!


> On other fronts it's been kind of a bad week.  A trip I was very much anticipating didn't happen.  I got the brush off from 2 other guys.  And rt now I hope I get laid again!  Eek!  I know it's usually feast or famine but this dry spell seems especially long!

> I totally need a spa day.  Hair cut & colored.  Nails & toes done.  Full body massage.  I really want Crash from Bull Durham to tie me to the bed and paint my nails...ooh and shave me bare :).

> I went to the pool today and there was actual eye candy!  I found myself staring at this one hot guy.  Fit, bald but owning it..shaved..I love that!, tan , big broad shoulders, trim waist.   His GF was there..but I think he might be the picture of my fantasies for a bit.

OK enough randomness.  For the record.I'm horny and need to get laid!  Soonest!  HELP!


Thursday, June 5, 2014

Cruisin' On Ocean Boulevard

That will be me this weekend.  Well honestly probably not.  But I WILL be in Myrtle Beach!  I can't wait.  I definitely need a road trip.  Recently Ryan Beaumont of AM Adventures et al and his friend Victoria posted their "visitors guide" and I highly recommend you check it out.  I've been to a lot of those places and they are all great.  This will be a family trip for me so I do not expect to have any amorous misadventures but I can still look at all the eye candy.

People watching at the beach is so much fun!  I get my Cosmo magazine and park my sunglasses just above the top and watch to my heart's content.  Plus everyone else around me is doing the same and it's so fun to hear that everyone else is thinking the same thing I am.  "Why the hell is a 400lb woman wearing a bikini on the beach?"  Yes I know that's so bad and judgmental but I can be a snarky bitch.  And yeah the guys still wearing the Speedo "banana slings" just ew in my little humble opinion.  And why do they always have a hairy back!!  But then the 20-something hottie walks by kicking a soccer ball and you can literally see all the women on the beach sit up a little straighter. It's even more fun watching the men and their wives when the barely legal girls stroll thru.  He's trying hard to avoid drooling and his wife is fuming at him.

My family has been going to Myrtle Beach since I was 13.  Ryan is quite right when he states that it is a "rite of passage" for the kids of our area to go there and sow some wild oats.  Thankfully I grew up in the pre-cell phone/social media/YouTube age or I fear quite a few of my beach exploits would be exposed.  My most memorable trip saw me off from home perfectly healthy and 3 days later I was coming home in 2 casts following an operation.  A car wreck.  Ironically exactly 10 years later on the very same day I was involved in yet another accident..you guessed it..on my way to Myrtle Beach.

MB is touristy, over-crowded, expensive and traffic-filled during the summer but still I love it.  I have so many wonderful memories there.  I was sitting on the deck of my oceanfront room with the bright light of a full moon shining in, the night I signed the contract to buy my 1st house.  I remember settling back in my chair, toasting the moon and feeling like a grown up for the 1st time.  I think all I need is an ocean to make me happy.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Find Me


I absolutely love this.  Yes please.  Someone come find me.  

Friday, May 30, 2014

FFF- 5/30-Distracted

Word Count:  250
Bonus Words: 
Tell us about your last naughty phone call (+50)
Required Phrase:  Put the phone down
Forbidden Word:   Answer, Respond
Extra Credit:  Make a naughty phone call from work, or to someone at work

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
"Look at him.  It's pathetic.  Dude needs to get a life.  Minecraft!?  I mean really."  Mark looked at Jason sitting on the sofa and shook his head.  The girls were getting friskier by the minute. 
 
Jason got up and wandered over to the bar to get a drink...so distracted that he hadn't finished the one in his hand.  Mark and Scott joined him and tried to point out what he was missing. 
 
"Dude, Chrissy and Sherri were all over each other next to you on the sofa." 
 
Jason looked up and asked Scott, "Hey man, I just saw the best video on YouTube!  Wanna see it?" 
 
Mark punched Jason on the arm.  "If you'd put down that damn phone, you had a chance at an actual threesome with those 2 chicks beside you!!  You could have been a legend, man!"  
 
Looking around, Jason asked, "Who's the topless chick?"  
 
"Who cares?" exclaimed Scott.  "This is the best party ever.  I'm doing a lap.  Gonna go watch some girl-on-girl action. you two chumps, have fun."
 
They each downed their drinks and all headed off in opposite directions.  
 
Jason laughed to himself as he headed out the door.  "Those two idiots.  Minecraft indeed.  Do they honestly think I didn't notice the hot chicks making out next to me on the sofa."  He approached the stranger next to the car and greeted him.  Leaning back against the car he grinned when he heard the girls heels clicking on the sidewalk and their giggling.  The stranger sprung into action and opened the door for Jason and the two girls.  
 
"So ladies are you ready for some fun?"  Chrissy and Sherri kissed Jason on the cheeks as they sat on either side of him.  
 
"Wow Jason I didn't know you had a limo.  This is great," said Sherri 
 
"Oh I didn't come here in a limo tonight.  What do you think I was doing on the phone?  I reserved it and asked them to send the car here to pick up the two most beautiful ladies in the room.  Champagne, anyone?"    
 
###########
Hi There.  Hope everyone is having a nice Friday afternoon!  I love short work weeks.  New job is going well and I seem to be settling in.  Hope you all have a nice weekend.  Please go see Advizor for all the other great entries this week. 
 

Monday, May 12, 2014

Time to Shape Up!

First of all let me preface this by saying that I'm writing this for myself as a way to hold myself accountable.  I have no intention of turning this into a weight loss blog.  If you read further, consider yourself warned.

Now that I am back on somewhat of an even keel being employed and working a more "normal" schedule, it is time to get back in shape.  I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and in the past year, more pounds than I have wanted have crept back on.  I know the reasons for that.  I fell back into some old habits and I got lazy on the exercise front.  Depression had a lot to do with it and just sitting at home all the time, bored and "it's just so easy to hit the fridge rather than the gym."

It's summer now and I have no more excuses!  I know myself and I have never been able to stick to a workout program in the morning.  I have tried in the past and find that I just don't stick with it.  During the time when I was losing the weight, I would exercise in the evening.  I know that if I come home and sit down on the couch--I'm done.   I have to get into my exercise clothes and sneakers right away and get right back out the door.  During high summer when it's very hot out, I attend the free water aerobics classes.  I know some people consider this a rather geriatric activity, however, in our town the classes are run by a former Marine Corps drill instructor.  Not at all geriatric!  This is an excellent way to get in shape and stay cool.

Another fun way I found to lose weight is to dance.  I love it!  I don't know if I'm any good at it and at night on my porch or my room, it doesn't matter.  Just get moving!  I will also incorporate moves from an aerobics tape to the music.  A little $20 MP3 player was the magical "machine" that really jump started my eventual 80 lb. loss a few years ago.   It is fun and I think it's a very good way to keep things interesting.

I know that candy is my weakness and potato chips and breads.  And french fries. And pizza.   I did a very good job of avoiding those foods before.  My rule of thumb was that I'd wait and if I was still craving it after an hour, then I'd go ahead and eat it.  9 times out of 10 the craving would go away.   I'd also wait to eat after I exercised because I would generally "behave".  If I had a good workout, then I didn't want to "waste it" by splurging on a big meal.  Plus exercising on a full stomach in the summer just tends to make me sick.

So here I go again.  I have a short-term goal in mind and know the total amount of weight I'd like to lose. Thankfully it is much less than before.  I know that even with the yo-yoing, I am much healthier now than I was before.

Of course as I sit here and write this, I'm staring down a full bag of Hershey's kisses...ARGHHH!  They are going straight into the breakroom at work tomorrow.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Working for the Weekend



Well I have (almost) survived my first week back in the "real world."  Best of all I will actually get a paycheck tomorrow too!  I won't know how to act.  Actually I have already been invited to go out with my neighbors tomorrow night so I'm sure it will come back to me quickly.  It really does feel great to be a productive member of society again.  And being back on a regular 8-5(ish), M-F schedule.  For 6 months before being out of work completely, I was on 2nd shift and that was pretty deflating.  I was working but still couldn't go out or see my friends much.  I am a very sociable person and value going out with my friends as much as I love my downtime at home alone.

I actually haven't had much time alone lately.  My sister-in-law and the kids are with me for awhile.  Of course I love them but at times, they drive me crazy!   This makes hosting for any "fun time" impossible at the moment too.  I haven't really been pursuing any new adventures lately.  I was very focused on finding a job first and foremost. Mission accomplished and hopefully as the summer draws near and the weather gets warm, those opportunities will be there.

I hope everyone has had a great week!  Thank you for all the kind words and emails wishing me well.  I know for certain that Rob has been a LOT more productive at work this week.  And possibly others as well. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!  I certainly am going to try!  

And she walks off singing "Back in black, let loose from the noose...."

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Highs and Lows

Depression is a funny thing.  It sneaks up on you (well me) so quickly and I often don't realize how down I am until I'm up again.  I know I have been very depressed the last 4 months.  I don't want to leave my house and just want to crawl up in a little ball.  But then something will happen and I'll be high for a few hours..like a call about a job interview.  Then my brain kicks in with the overanalyzing and I inevitably wind up disappointed. The crash is even harder and I wind up lower than before.  So then I try to not get so excited when something positive does happen and then I just don't get emotional about anything.  You're just in a trance.  It's weird.

Today I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of me.  I was so stressed that my body is actually a little sore from how tight I was holding myself in control.  Everything is so much more relaxed now.  My shoulders are back in their normal position and not clinched in a ball around my ears.  While I know it will be a big adjustment re-entering the workforce and it won't solve all my problems, I am just so happy right now. And then I get news that my friend Jamie is moving away..farther away.  So now I'm back down a little bit but happy for him too.

I'm so grateful again to all of my friends for hanging in with me.  I tried very hard not to bitch & moan too much about it here and I know the blog was quiet for awhile.   Things are definitely looking up.  Summer is coming and I love it after being cooped up all winter.  The flowers are blooming, everything is getting green and the smell of burgers on the grill is in the air (yum!).  This is going to be a great summer!!!  I can just tell.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

You May Want to Stand Back

Ahem.  May I have your attention please?

                              I GOT A JOB TODAY!!!!!!!!!!

I know this was an FFF prompt but it sums up exactly how I feel

I would like to say thank you to everyone who supported me and wished me well and gave me such encouragement.  It meant the world to me.  Can you hug the blogosphere?   ((HUGS))  It feels so good to be a real functioning member of society again.  Of course, I also want to print a disclaimer here because in 2 weeks (or less) I hope I won't be using this blog to bitch about my new job.  Thank you all again for such wonderful support.  What great internet friends I have.  XXOO.

Monday, April 21, 2014

The Question

It's the question I always get from men I interact with on AM.  And it's a legitimate one.  One that I had to sit down and seriously answer for myself.

"Why is a single lady looking around on Ashley Madison?"

I think of it as the online equivalent of "what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

The very first time I logged on, I was single-but attached.  I was at the end of a 3 year relationship and I absolutely knew if we did get married, I'd be miserable and would wind up on AM eventually.  It was a fluke the first time.  I was a little tipsy, had read an article about it and got curious enough one night.  Shortly after I dumped the boyfriend, I remembered the account and logged onto my new "play" email.  It was nice getting attention from all those fun, flirty, handsome men.  (Hell, it still is!)

About the time I dumped the BF, I began dropping a lot of weight.  I was naive about that.  I immediately assumed that as soon as I was the size I wanted to be , the men would be knocking down my door.  Ummm...not exactly.   I live in a small town and the ratio of available women to available men in my age range is easily 5 to 1 or higher.  And they're very attractive women!  Competition is tough!

I went through a very long, very tough time in my 30's.  I was overweight and dealing with some extremely stressful family issues.  Even though I dreaded entering my 40's, it's been truly enlightening.  I began owning my feelings about my sexuality.  I realized I deserved whatever pleasure I could get for myself.  If Match.com wasn't getting it done, then "Hello, Ashley Madison!"

I researched online how to be discrete after I made my first serious contact.  By then I was reading blogs and absorbing as much info as I could.  (Thank you Ryan and thank you Kat!)  When I sat down to answer the "Why?" question for myself, I knew first of all I was NOT looking to steal anyone's husband there--period!  I had absolutely no expectations that anyone is leaving their wife/gf/SO for me.  Honestly my motives were purely sexual.   I was horny and looking to get laid.  I felt like if I blatantly stated that on Match, I would be judged.  Not so on AM.  The men there were looking for the same thing--although if they're smart they'll dress up their profiles a bit and make it subtly suggestive and not so "wanna fuck, baby?"

Secondly I knew if I did get involved with someone beyond just sex, I was going to have to accept whatever they could give.  There would be rules and I am fine with that.  It has never been--nor will it ever be my intention to get anyone busted or in trouble.  I absolutely understand the risks involved.  I've seen it firsthand in my own home growing up.  Do not ever forget this is very serious business and can even be dangerous.  I would try very hard to keep my emotions under control or be prepared to walk away.

Thirdly, I was not looking for a sugar daddy.  I've always considered myself to be very independent.  Most things I've wanted, I've worked hard for and bought myself.  Now that's not to say I don't enjoy the occasional present , I do and am very appreciative, I just didn't expect it from anyone.  Quite honestly I've never had anyone offer (or even heard of a lady being offered) any type of "let me be your sugar daddy" situation on AM.  There are other sites if both parties are looking for that. I thought that it might be something I'd happen to see on the site and just made it "my rule."

In the almost 2 years I've been on the site, I think I've handled things well.  I feel a lot more confident and think I've been pretty successful in the men I've chosen to correspond with.  Even more with the few men I've met face-to-face.   I tend to communicate a bit more before a F2F than I'm sure most men prefer but I find that works for me and I'm comfortable with it.  I DO NOT respond well to being pressured!  I am also not an "email queen"--one of those infamous women who email forever with no intention of ever meeting.  I have my own time table for these things based on chemistry and my gut.

I've also had the good fortune to meet a few attached men through the blog.  One, of course is,  Rob, whom I consider to be a good friend.  The other is a longer distance relationship and I know we'll only ever get to meet infrequently.  However, we try our best to keep things as hot as possible between meetings.  The bloggers and blog fans are a bit different as one or both parties know a lot about the other possibly before making contact but I think the rules for myself still apply.

AM men seem to come and go quickly (pun sorta intended).  As I see often in profiles on the site:  I am not looking to change your status....or mine.  I enjoy being single most of the time.  I just want us both to have a little fun.  "Flirt, luv, laugh" is a line from my actual profile and I think it answers the "why am I here" question very well.

Friday, April 18, 2014

FFF-4/18-The Mermaid


Word Count: Minimum 200, Maximum 400
Bonus Words: +100 if you can explain why she's wet... and wearing heels.
Required Word: Found
Forbidden Word: Lost
Extra Credit: How many men are in this picture?

##########

She had grown up watching the four boys.  When they were all young kids, she would sneak to the edge of the shore and play with them.  It had been easy then to hide her true self in the sand.  Their parents would laugh at the boys' tales of the mermaid that came to play with them in the sea.  Every summer they would show up and every fall she would watch them pack up and leave, the boys waving to her from the window.  One day they would all live in the big cliff house together she dreamed.  

As the years passed one or two of the boys would be away at camp or summer school, still she was there to romp and play and splash with them and their friends.  Then one spring her mother pulled her aside and gave her "the talk."  She was older now and things had...um...developed and her mother told her she could no longer go near the boys.  They were no longer children but young men and women and things could be dangerous for her.  Of course, like any rebellious teenager, she didn't listen.  

That summer her mother was right.  They had matured into four handsome young men.  Still she had to go close.  As she appeared out of the waves, she could see them stop their roughhousing and staring at her with mouths open.  No wait!  They were staring at her bare chest!!  The boys whooped and began chasing after her.  She swam quickly away.  What had happened to them, she thought.  From that summer on she would watch but didn't approach.  Then in her 18th year they stopped coming to the shore altogether.  Where had they gone she wondered.  For 6 summers, no one showed.  But she knew they would be back this year.  She had told them the secret of the 25th summer when they were kids.

She began making her preparations all that 24th winter.   Her dream would finally come true and she could go ashore and live for a year.  At last she could shed her scales and tail and wear gorgeous shoes and run and stretch her legs.  The morning of May 31 slowly dawned and she climbed out of the water and turned and waved bye to her mother.  She slid on the heels she had so long admired and began climbing the far side of the cliff above the house.  As she approached she knew she was right.  All four men were there going about their chores.  The men gradually stopped what they were doing as she approached them.  

"Hello boys.  Remember me?  I'm the mermaid."  

########
Happy FFFriday!  I realized when I began writing that this was starting to remind me a bit of the movie, Splash, one of my favs from the 80's, so I had to change it up a bit.  Hope you all have a very nice Easter.   

Saturday, April 12, 2014

TGI Friday!

Today was a good day.  What an absolutely beautiful spring day!  Picture perfect Carolina blue skies.  In fact it was a good day for a drive to Carolina.  As posted recently I had a lunch date with a new guy I met on AM.   We just started chatting this week actually.  I don't normally meet that quickly but I immediately felt comfortable with JT.

We were meeting for lunch in a nearby city about halfway between our homes.  I was just about to walk out the door when he called to say he was running an hour late and could we change the time and place.   That was fine with me as I am more familiar with the other city.  We timed it well and arrived within minutes of each other.  He looked great.  And he smelled absolutely delicious!!!

Lunch went well as we began getting to know each other.  He has a very dry, droll sense of humor.  As lunch drew to an end, I was given 3 options.  We could say "thanks for lunch, have a nice life," sit and drink the afternoon away or continue the conversation in a more private place.  I teased him a bit and pretended to call the waitress over for another drink.  Of course I chose #3 and followed him to the motel.

The room was small but it had the most important feature: a bed.  I was lounging on it reading the little HBO guide when he leaned over and began kissing my neck.  MMMMM...neck kisses.  So hot!  Then we rolled over and he began nibbling my nipples, gently teasing and biting.  I reached for his cock and began stroking him.  He was leaking precum and I drew off a drop and brought it to my lips to suck off my thumb.  I loved his reaction when I did that.  We explored each other's bodies--touching and squeezing and playing.  Then he climbed on top and I wrapped my legs around him.  We fit together well and he had a nice thick hard cock.

After, we cuddled a bit and rested up for Round 2.  He suggested I suck his cock to get it big so he could fuck me from behind.  Who would argue with that?  I love giving head!  I licked and teased him, running my tongue over his head and stroking him.  However, he was very quiet but still hard as a rock.  I looked up at him and his head was thrown back and he finally groaned in pleasure.   I went back to work lick and sucking his cock until inevitably my jaw got sore.  I climbed up beside him and he kissed me deeply.  I thought he wanted to fuck me doggy style but he rolled me onto my back and fucked me hard, deep and fast.  We both came very hard.

We lay there panting and then he very nicely got up and poured us some water.  We snuggled and kissed a bit.  But then I hate it when I hear that sigh that tells me it's time to get up and get dressed.  We did take a quick shower together and had a little more fun soaping each other up.  On the way home I put in a CD of our favorite band and texted him (while stopped in traffic) and thanked him for a wonderful afternoon.

As I write this, I am still smiling.  It was an afternoon of some very much needed stress relief.  What a great kickoff to the weekend.

But little did I know this weekend was about to get even better!  More on that later. :)  TTFN.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Going Back

Sorry for the preemptive post today.  Here it is finally.  

I said I wasn't going to go back there.  By there I meant Ashley Madison.  I was going to focus on OK Cupid.  That fizzled out quickly.  I did make contact with one guy but he lived too far away to really meet regularly.  That was, of course, my goal on OK Cupid--to meet someone to go out with. I wanted a date on national holidays.

Flashing forward a few months and I'm sitting at home alone, bored, one evening.  I glance at the apps on my phone and the AM app catches my eye.  "I haven't been on in awhile, " I thought.  "I'll just pop in and see if there are any new messages."  Of course there are.  And of course I don't just check messages.  I had to have a look around and check out the new blood.  It's rare that I send a message first on that site.  (Quite honestly women get lots of messages and can pick and choose.)  But something about his profile caught my eye and I sent a brief note basically wishing him a good week.  

I got a quick response which is nice.  We quickly moved off the site to instant messaging.  By that point it was late and we made arrangements to chat the next day.  He seems to be a pretty easy going guy.  Funny and a Southern gentleman...but not too much.  We've talked on the phone several times and he seems very attentive.

So tomorrow I actually have a lunch date.  With the possibility of dessert.  Maybe my luck is finally changing. Now if landing a job were just that easy.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Wishy-Washy

That is kind of how I'm feeling lately.  Some days and even some minutes, I'm up and then give it time and I'm back down again.  I haven't posted much simply because there isn't much to say.  I am STILL looking for work and I'm quietly going insane(er) sitting at home all the time.  I did work at the Big Sporting Event in town last weekend and it was a lot of fun.  I was a bartender in the hospitality suites which was something I haven't done before and I really enjoyed it.  So I am appealing to you, my lovely blog readers, to send prayers or good wishes, light candles, sacrifice virgins (yeah right!) to whatever deity you worship (if any) that I can PLEASE find a job very soon.

My little OK Cupid experiment seems to have fizzled out before it even began.  A lot of it is I just don't have any enthusiasm.  I don't feel I can bring much to the table right now.  I know I am a little depressed (ok a lot probably).  Not having any resources will do that.  I'm through whining now.

I did have a little reason to perk up last week.  A friend that I have been chatting with over a long period was in a nearby town recently.  He is the same age as me and we have a lot in common.  We laugh and joke around a lot and even "watch" our show together on Monday nights.  (The Following..is anyone else hooked?)  We've never met in person, however.  But as happened last year, he was in town for work and was putting in 14 hour days.  So strike 2.  We never did get to meet.  It's a shame, too.  He is really a great guy and we chat and talk all the time about getting together.  But when he's within striking distance, he just seems to disappear.  You know he's wishy-washy.  But wait.  He'll be back in the area next week.  A little further away but still close by.  So we'll see what (if anything) happens.

So that's what I'm up to these days.  I'm up and down and all around.  Highs and lows and the hits just keep on coming.  Thanks again to anyone still reading.  Hopefully soon I'll have some fun sexy things to post. Spring and summer are on their way (hopefully) and that always seems to help.


Friday, March 14, 2014

FFF-3/13-Nice Tie



Word Limit: 200
Word Bonus: +10, per inch, of the biggest cock you've ever handled
Required Word: Suit
Forbidden Words: Penis, Cock, Prick, Dick, Dork, Dong, Pecker, Johnson, Wang, Elvis
Extra Credit: What does he do for a living?


Mmm..I admit I'm completely mesmerized by this week's prompt.  [Smack..snap out of it!]  It reminded me of  a previous entry.  Time to tell her side.
#######

Brenda walked quickly to the elevator, her heels clicking loudly on the lobby's marble....Fuck she was late again. David sweetly held the door for her and then he shyly stepped to the back.  She looked over her shoulder to say thanks but he was avoiding her gaze as usual.  Disappointed she watched the floor lights too and hurried quickly to her cubicle.

Her asshole boss berated her because she didnt have time to get his venti half caf, double shot expresso.  WTF ever!  She made her way to the breakroom and ran into David's assistant, Kathy.   She tried not to be too  obvious when she asked how he was.  She completely missed Kathy's vent about David asking for Pfizer's number. She poured her boss a cup of decaf horsepiss and helped herself to the delectable French Vanilla cappucino

She relaxed against the counter and thought of David.  He was so nice.  Such a gentleman. She, of course, knew he had a crush on her. It was sweet!  And nice. And therein lied the problem.  The whole nice guy thing.  He was such a bad ass litigator in court, but went all googly-eyed at the sight of her.  Why couldn't he nail her on the stand like that!

She delivered the coffee to her boss and settled in for the day.  But she couldn't keep her mind off David.  When he walked by earlier, she completely embarassed herself when she not only knocked over rhe pencil holder but the phone off the hook during the partner's conference call.  She caught him looking down her blouse but still he said nothing.

Retreating to the restroom, she tried to think what she could do.  It was technically "wrong" to top from the bottom but she was desperate.  All she could imagine today was his hard outline in his suit pants.  Quickly she typed the note and bribed Kathy with a steak lunch next week to slip it into his briefcase.  She was a nervous wreck the rest of the day.

She approached the elevator at the end of the day holding her breath in anticipation.  He wasn't there.  She hemmed and hawed for 25 minutes but still nothing.  When the elevator dinged again and opened, she stepped in.  Suddenly she heard a voice call out "Hold the door!"  She did and suddenly he was there!  He thanked her and grasped her chin whispering, "Good Girl"  before he backed her into the corner.

"I got your note."


########
Im bad because i havent been using my wordcounter lately...oops.  I will cop to the biggest ive had as 9 in.  But again it isnt the dick, but the mind and guy its attached to.

Happy FFF peeps.  Head on over to Thomas' place to read the other delightful takes.




Thursday, March 13, 2014

Virtual

Im so horny right now!  I absolutely know that nothing takes the place of skin-on-skin.  But there are times when you can't sink your teeth in or lick the head of his cock or feel him plunge in deep and hard... then phone, Skype or IM (chat) sex can somewhat satisfy that urge.  And OMG tonite was one of the hottest virtual sessions ever!!  


Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Some Randomness

Ok i promised myself I wouldnt blog drunk..but tonight what the hell...

1.  I really, really want to go to Belgium for a chocolate massage.  Right NOW!!  And listen to "Stray Cat Strut"

2.  How the hell can a plane just disappear in 2014!!

3.  Im glad a certain friend likes paisley!  (Purple and white)

4.  I really like cock rings....sooooo sexy.

5.  The FFF prompt is REALLY hot this week and for tha ladies.

6. I totally have a crush on a blogger down south somewhere.


So that's probably enough info to get me in some trouble tonight...lol.

Friday, March 7, 2014

FFF-3/7-Captured

Word Limit: 400
Bonus Words: +100 if she can kick ass.
Required Phrase: "Hell hath no fury..."
Forbidden Word: Kryptonite
Extra Credit: Give someone a cheesy accent.

Please head over to see the fabulous Tom at Three Spelling Mistakes for all the wonderful entries this week.  









Ralph and Carl stumbled through the woods.  They were both looking around nervously, jumping at every rustle of the leaves.  They were checking their trap line as they did most nights. However, they always got nervous in the area around The Stones.  Both of them had grown up hearing the legends and tales.  People appearing and vanishing, bodies lying within the confines of The Stones.  

The traps were all empty tonight and the guys were getting bored.  They pulled out their flasks and took sips to keep them warm.  They were about to turn for home when they heard the whimpering of a wounded animal coming from the direction of the granite circle.  They each took a deep draft before turning to dare each other to approach the trap they had set there.  

"Well shit, let's just go check it out, Carl," Ralph said faking bravery.  

Carl's voice shook as he whispered, "Fine.  I'll just follow you.  I got your six".

They crashed stealthily through the brush.  The full moon was hidden by the clouds obscuring their vision.  They didnt see their caught prey at first.  Then they heard the struggle of the wounded animal again.  They cautiously approached the trap.  Suddenly the light from the moon above broke through the cloud cover.

"OMG! HOLY HELL!!"

"FUCK!  GODDAMN!!"

The guys clung to each other in terror.  They could scarce believe their eyes at the prey they had trapped.  It was a woman.  A NAKED woman.  

"Oh shit we've caught her!  Now what, Ralph?  It's the Banshee!"  

Carl brazenly approached her .  As he reached his hand between the bars of the trap, the first low rumblings calling his demise began within her.  

At first she cringed when she saw them.. She panicked and wailed discordantly.  She cringed and fought valiantly to get away.  She was embarassed as they laughed and snickered at her state of undress.  They didn't know her or her tribe or their terrible purpose.  The bansidhe were always misunderstood as the mourners and the keeners of death.  No one ever paid attention to their subliminal warnings.  You know, the hair that stands up on the back of your neck.

Such was the case with Carl and Ralph.  She could see The Alpha approach.  Her wailing and keening grew higher and higher.  They ran but it was too late.  They had dared to trap The Alpha's beloved .  

"Hell Hath No Fury" read the headlines when Ralph and Carl's remains were found three days later.  

#########
There seemed to be something primal about the picture.  I really hope the story made sense. Yesterday I woke up and my face was swollen to the size of a bowling ball with a sinus infection.  I got some "good" drugs at the doc yesterday.  Whee!  Happy TGIFFF.  Stay safe yall