Friday, August 30, 2013

FFF-Aug. 30-Just A Little Pinch

Word Limit - 309 . Required Words:  soft, next, and crystal (but not all in the same sentence)
Forbidden Words:  lesbian,  movie, costumeBonus words can be earned by including the words "Panda" (25) or by identifying and linking a picture of the classical painting that appears to have inspired the photograph (50)

Head over to see Advizor for all the FFF fun.  C'mon you KNOW you want to!  

"Psssst!  Rebekeh!  Come here I have to show you something!"

Rebekeh looked up from the quilting form to see Sarah in the doorway practically jumping up and down in excitement.  I excused myself and hurried over before she caused an uproar at the quilting bee.  My dear impetuous Sarah.  I loved her from the moment I saw her clutching a stuffed panda at a sleepover.  We had been inseperable ever since.  

"OK what have you done now?"

Sarah pulled up the hem of her black shawl to reveal a red flowing skirt.  I ushered her out.

"Where did you get that?  You know bright colors are forbidden!  Are you trying to get us shunned?  After everything I've done to protect us!"  

"A tourist snuck me the fabric and I just couldn't resist.  Feel how soft and just look at this!"  I watched her twirl,  the fabric floating away from her lithe form to reveal her strong calves and just a hint of creamy thigh.  She was flushed in her excitement, cheeks pink and glowing.  It was crystal clear what I had to do.

"Find my husband Daniel and have him bring the buggy.  We'll have just enough time before I have to prepare supper."  

I sagged against the house as she ran off.  It was during rumspringa that the full extent of our feelings were revealed.  I had fully intended to leave the church and run away with Sarah so we could be lovers without shame.  That is until her cousin Daniel had walked in on us naked and kissing on the bed.  He immediately threatened to tell our parents.  I pleaded and promised him anything.  He demanded I marry him and join the church.  He would even allow Sarah and I to be together and keep it hidden.  The impetus being he got to watch.  

They pulled up in the buggy and I climbed in and said "To the field, please."  We got there and it was quiet.  He perched on a nearby rock and we moved a little further off.  "Now Sarah show me your pretty red skirt ."  We quickly became lost in each other and didn't hear Daniel shout until it was too late.  We sat up in confusion to be confronted with a carload of tourists with cameras.  Just before the flash went off I impulsively reached over and gave her nipple just a little pinch.
Note:  Ok I know I went over on words.  And I really don't know a lot about art.  Google has lots of images for "women in field" jus say'n.  Closest one I thought might fit was a Degas but maybe I'm way off and I'll stay quiet and not embarass myself and look to Advizor for the big reveal.  Anyway this was a fun pic to work with.  The guy in back just looked Amish to me.  Hope you all have a happy, fun-filled weekend!  

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Amorous Misadventures

About a year ago I stumbled across an article in a magazine about a well known website for married-but-looking people.  One night I was bored and a little tipsy when the magazine caught my eye and I remembered the article.  I was curious and logged on and created just enough of a profile to have a look around.  I was a little shocked so many in my area were looking to step out on their spouse.  But I didn't want to run the risk of running into a friend's husband so I broadened my search.  I oohed and ahhed over the pics of pecs and abs and eventually closed the computer and headed to bed.

I didn't think much about it until I opened my "play" email account and saw all of the notifications.  I logged back in and was overwhelmed at the response.  I had over 400 profile views, tons of key requests, winks.  What an ego boost!  So I upgraded my profile and added some PG private pics and I was off.

It took me awhile to actually meet up with someone.  I met and chatted with a lot of guys but things never seemed to work out where I could ever hookup with any of them.  Then in January this year I got the email I'd been waiting for.  He was smart, witty, subtly suggestive and very handsome.  I emailed him back and then we quickly starting texting.  As it turns out he was familiar with my little town as he traveled here for business.  Even more amazingly he came here to see my mother's (yikes!) employer!  So we even knew people in common although thankfully not my mother.

After a week or so of texting he let me know he would be in the area and asked if I would like to go to dinner.  I immediately said yes.  We had done the naughty picture exchange by then and the chats had gradually become steamier each time.  Even so I wasn't sure the date would turn into anything more.

On date day, I was giddy all day.  My co-workers made me 'fess up only to shoot me down a minute later when they said it was pretty much a 100% chance of snow in the city and area where I was meeting "Allen."  I texted him and let him know the situation and immediately checked the weather.  The storm wasn't supposed to hit until midnight.  Yeah right...this is me we're talking about.  We had agreed to meet at 7 and before I was halfway there the storm hit full force.  Luckily the snow wasn't sticking to the roads and I pulled over and texted him to let him know I'd be late.

I finally made it to the restaurant, checked myself in the mirror and skidded across the parking lot in my high-heeled boots.  I was glad I wore them though.  When I got inside he spotted me and he stood up to greet me.  I looked up..and up...and meet his eyes.  I did not remember his height from his profile.  He is 6'5"!

We sat down and ordered drinks and began getting to know each other.  I found myself unable to look away from his siren blue eyes.  I don't remember much of our conversation that night but I knew I wanted more.  It was as if we were cocooned inside that booth.  I had completely forgot about the weather!  The temperature dropped and now the snow was sticking.  I was conflicted.  I was off from work the next day but I was unsure about staying with a complete stranger in a hotel room overnight if I was snowed in.  He convinced me to just come over for a bit and wait it out, the weather was supposed to pass soon and the roads would be scraped.  So I followed him to the room.

He had a suite at a nearby airport hotel and he had thoughtfully stopped and bought some Red Bull and vodka which is my favorite drink lately.  We relaxed on the sofa with our drinks and laughed and chatted more.  Then he got quiet and our eyes met and finally our lips met too.

He dropped to his knees in front of me and unzipped my boots and began caressing my calves and moved his hands higher up my skirt massaging my thighs.  I sat up to help him remove his shirt and we laughed because he was on his knees and I was sitting on the loveseat but we were finally eye to eye.  We made out some more and things got hotter.

Finally we made it to the bedroom and stretched out.  He caressed and massaged my body deeply all over and I was moaning and arching up.  His hands moved to my hard nipples and played, squeezed and pinched and eventually bit and sucked.  He kissed his way down my belly and landed between my thighs.  He kissed my inner thighs and I almost went off then.  When he moved to my clit and nibbled and licked my slit, I launched into a series of multiple orgasms.  When I finally came back to earth, he crawled up beside me and we kissed and chatted and laughed some more.  He was playing with my nipples and I felt him get hard against me.

I moved to my knees beside him and took his cock in my mouth.  He wasn't huge but a nice good size and thick.  I licked him up and down to lube him up nicely before teasing his head and slit with my tongue.  Then I took him in deep in my mouth and began a nice sucking rhythm moving him in and out.  I reached down and gently fondled his balls.  It wasn't long before he gave me the signal he was about to cum.  Now I'm a little tentative about swallowing when with a new guy.  It's not taste but volume that concerns me usually.  He took the decision out of my hands when he pulled out and shot on my chest.

Again we cuddled on the bed and made out some more and took a break to re-hydrate.  There was no actual penetration that night since neither of us had the foresight to bring condoms.  It was still a great night and I found it difficult to leave and kept coming back or getting pulled back for one more kiss.

By the time I did leave the snow had almost stopped and the interstate had been scraped.  As I headed south the snow turned into rain (sing Dan Fogelburg with me).  We would meet again and the next time he came to my town.  But that would be it.  He drifted away...or so I thought.  He texted me this week!  So there's potential for more amorous misadventures soon!  :-)

Friday, August 23, 2013

My Two Blind Dates-Date Two

Date One is here.

As I was saying before men have told me that I have a sexy phone voice.  If you move ahead in time a couple of years from the previous post, now I'm back in my hometown working in advertising at our local paper.  I had been there a few months and one day answered the phone to take an ad for a new doctor in town.  He gave me the layout and information and I was chatting and laughing with him all the while.  I told him I would send the ad for his approval and told him to call if he needed to make any changes.  I didn't think anymore about it and went about my day.

When I came back from lunch there was a message on my desk and my co-worker was all excited.  (I can't remember his name so Im just gonna call him Doc)  He approved the ad with her but asked her to have me call him on a personal matter.  We were all giggly and highly impressed he was a doctor and an ob-gyn to boot.  We speculated that he had some special knowledge or tricks up his sleeve.

Well I calmed down and called him back and he thanked me for the ad, told me he liked it, and that he had enjoyed chatting with me.  He told me I had a lot of "verve"  in my voice and  that he would like to take me to dinner and get to know me.  He had just moved here and hadn't met anyone yet.  I said yes, of course, thinking a doctor probably wasn' t an axe murderer.  We exchanged numbers and he called later in the week to set the day and time.

On the appointed day he picked me up and we headed south to a larger city with more dining and entertainment options.  A fellow doctor had recommended a restaurant downtown and it was rather nice.  We chatted and got to know each other on the way but I kept noticing a disturbing habit.  He kept sticking out his tongue and licking his lips obscenely.  All I could think was "I sure as hell wouldn't want to be in the stirrups with him doing that!"

We made our reservation on time and got seated and ordered a drink.  We chatted a bit more and I could tell he was nervous.  He was telling me me about growing up in NYC  and medical school and his stint in Africa with Doctors Without Borders.  While relating all this he was continuing to pull and lick his lips.  Finally disgusted, I excused myself to the restroom.  Back then I smoked but stupidly I had only one cigarette with me that night.  I fired it up knowing this was probably my only date with Doc.  Oh how I wished I'd saved that last fag for later!

We ordered dinner and a bottle of wine.  Things improved slightly after that and we had a nice meal.  After dinner he asked if I liked jazz and if I knew of a jazz club in town.  Now this is a good size Southern city and there may have been a jazz club in town but I sure as hell didn't know where it was.  Now if he wanted to go line dancing at a country & western bar, he was in the right place!   We were next door to the newest, hottest club in town and I tried to convince him to go there but he wanted a quieter place.  The only thing I could suggest was  the club for the "older" set across town.

I'm not usually directionally challenged but for some reason when I go to this town, I get lost every.single.time.  I had no clue how to get from downtown to the mall area where the club was so I asked someone on the street.  We got to the car and got headed in the right direction.  We were headed to a high-rise hotel so it should be easy to spot when we got in the area and it was.  The problem was every street we tried to take was the wrong direction one way or led us in the opposite direction.  We had drove for about a half hour when he sarcastically thanked me for leading him on "a wild goose chase."  I quickly pointed out the exit to the interstate and said "if he felt that way, then he just needed to take me home right now."

Now he had not driven like a complete maniac on the way down but I guess he figured the bloom was off the rose on this night and wanted it to end as fast as I did.  I yelled at him to slow down.  He had to slam on the brakes to get off on the exit we needed.  I warned him that he wasn't on the interstate anymore and that he really needed to cut it out.  Sure enough not 5 minutes later, we hear sirens and blue lights behind us.  I tried not to smirk and say "told ya so."  I silently handed him his registration from the glove compartment.

The officer walks up to his window and they talk for a few minutes.  I'm sitting in the seat silently fuming just wanting this hellish date over!  Suddenly Doc gets out of the car and walks behind it with the officer.  I turn around and my mouth drops open as I realize they are giving him a field sobriety test.  WTF!  We only had 2 glasses of wine with dinner and that was hours ago.  Certainly I was stone-cold sober at that point.  My eyes got bigger as I watched them cuff him and walk him to the police car.  Now I'm starting to panic!

We had cell phones then but they were the big clunky ones and used mostly for emergencies back then and this felt like an emergency to me but my Mom had the phone.  The officer walked back to me and let me know they had arrested my date for DUI.  I asked him if I could drive Doc's car home and he told me he could smell wine on my breath too so I quickly nixed that idea.  He told me I could ride with them to the police station and call someone to come pick me up.  I started thinking who to call and realized my closest friends were all out of town that weekend!  I tried a few people but they were out having a much better time than I!  I hung my head and called the one person I didnt want mother.

So I made the call and the line was busy.  Damn dial up internet!  So I called my neighbor and mom's best friend and asked her to pretty please get out of bed, drive to Mom's and please ask her to come pick up her daughter at the police station!  Mom immediately called me back and I explained where I was and why.  I went outside to wait and looked in my purse for a cigarette and oh smokes!

My mom gets there and I go back inside to make sure it's OK to leave.  The officer comes out and tells me the Doc is being taken to a magistrate for arraignment or whatever.  About that time they bring Doc out and I can see he is clearly mortified.  The officer explains that he will be released that night or in the morning.  The officer suggests that he still not drive after he's released.  That's when it hits me the Doc doesn't have a way to get back to his car. I tell him my mom is here and that we'll wait and take him home.  The officer tells us we can follow him to the magistrate.

We sit in the car and I tell her about dinner and the events of that night.  It was pretty late or early at this point and we try to sleep.  Finally he comes out and we take him back to his car, him apologizing profusely and telling me he should have listened and slowed down.  Ya think!  I drive him home with Mom following and get out to give him his keys.  He again apologizes and OH NO HE DIDN'T leans as if to kiss me!  I put his keys in his hand and get in mom's car.  Along the way I beg her to stop so I can finally get some cigarettes.  We get breakfast too and after smoking about half the pack I finally go to bed.

Much later I would learn that licking and pulling the lips is a sign of withdrawal from drug use.  I knew he couldn't be drunk from dinner!  So that was my blind date with the druggie ob-gyn and of course I had bragged to all my friends I was going out with a doctor.  So I got to eat my fair share of crow, too.

Well those are my experiences.  Please feel free to share your own in the comments.  Have a good weekend!

My Two Blind Dates- Date One

I've been told by more than one man that I have a pretty sexy phone voice.  In fact that has prompted at least two men to ask me out just by hearing my voice.  Now these conversations were not in the least bit sexy in nature.  I actually talked with these men while at work.

The first one was when I was still living in Northern VA in the DC suburbs. I was at my first "real" job post-college.  I used to talk to various institutions every day and as happens you develop relationships with these people (so this wasn't just because of my sexy voice but I'm still gonna tell it)  Marcus was one of them.  He was smart, fun, funny and had a great sarcastic wit.  We would send funny jokes by fax (slightly before email was common in most offices).  We flirted for several months and eventually one of us suggested drinks or dinner.

He generously agreed to come to my area since he was "against" traffic.  Back then blind dates were truly cell phones to send pics.  We met at a popular bar/restaurant near my office.  We had both left early from work so we were ahead of the crowd.

I walked in and spotted him at the bar.  He was older than I pictured but by no means unattractive and we ordered beers and started chatting.  Now when I first went in, I had seen some guy sitting on the other side of Marcus at the end of the bar but didn't give it a 2nd thought.  He started chatting with us and at first he was funny and interesting.  He was from Ireland and was regaling us with funny stories about pubs he frequented back home.  But we were on a date and trying to get to know each other.  It was very clear the Irishman had been "overserved" our entire conversation and he became belligerent.

Marcus explained we were on our first date very politely and that we'd like to enjoy our drinks now.  He turned back to me and we kind of chuckled about it.   Next thing Marcus goes flying backward off the barstool and he staggers to his feet  and then the "nice" little Irishman begins throwing punches at my date!  As I remember he didn't really make solid contact-  Marcus is 6'3" and the jerk was considerably smaller but Marcus had a puffy lip and a swollen eye later.  The bartender wrestled the guy out of the bar and the staff rushed and fussed over us.  We immediately went from beer to liquor both of us rattled.  I offered to call it a night but Marcus was a trooper and we moved to the tables and had dinner.

We joked that everyone is going to think I had done this and he would tell everyone I was a wildcat in the bedroom.  After all the excitement at the bar we settled in and had a fun evening.  He was just as fun in person as over the phone.  The manager approached and apologized and told us our evening was on the house.  We did the awkward hug/kiss at the end of the evening and went home.

Well, of course, when we went back to work the next day everyone was dying to know how it went and everyone got a good laugh and expressed sympathy over the events.  Marcus called and said he had some bruising and was still a little swollen but he thought it made him look "tuff."  I was just glad he was ok and he was laughing about it.  Over the next few weeks Marcus and I continued to talk but it seemed forced now.  Eventually one day his boss called and let me know he had transferred out of that location and I never heard from him again.  C'est la vie.

Oh well at least we got a good story out of it.  I thought I could put both dates in one entry but I've rambled on a good bit so check back if you want.  The next tale is much funnier, I think.  Happy Friday everyone!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The Mechanic

I felt sort of weird going to such a dirty place all dressed up but my car needed work and it was my best friend’s birthday. I checked myself out in the mirror secretly impressed . The red stretch tank flattered my dark tan. The zebra print skirt actually hugged and flattered my ass and showed off my trim, toned legs. I love sliding my freshly manicured feet into the awesome new 4 inch black heels. I leaned into the mirror and smiled as I applied my favorite red lipstick. "Who knows, " I thought, "maybe they’ll give me a discount!" I sprayed my body with perfume, grabbed my bag and sashayed out the door.

I pulled up to the garage slowly wondering where to park. The place appeared abandoned but then I noticed a light in the office and someone standing at the window. I walked carefully across the parking lot, not wanting to stumble in my new heels. I opened the door and stepped in.

I looked around, pleasantly surprised. I always thought that garages were black, dirty, greasy places. This place was immaculate–not a smudge of grease anywhere, not even a random tool laying around. Sure there were cars in various state of repair but everything looked neat and organized. There was even a waiting room with a nice cushy sofa and ottoman.

From behind her she heard a man’s voice call out, "I’ll be right with you." The door opened and I turned around. "I really appreciate you..." and as I caught sight of the man before me, my voice trailed off. He was gorgeous. Blonde hair, blue eyes, wide shoulders, flat stomach and I bet he smelled good too. Suddenly I realized I’m gawking at the man like an idiot.

"I, um, really appreciate you working on my car. I know it was short notice."

"I’m sure it’s not a problem. You can leave the keys with me," he said.

"OK. Thanks." Suddenly my phone went off in my purse and I began fumbling to get it out. "That will be my friends coming to pick me up. We’re celebrating her birthday tonight."

" that’s why you look so stunning and I thought you were angling for a discount." He laughed at her blush. "When are your friends going to be here?"

Frowning, I again checked the phone and rolled my eyes. "Looks like they are once again running late. I should have known. I’m sorry to keep you. I’ll wait out front. It’s Friday night and surely you have plans, too."

"No, no plans and there’s no way I’m letting you wait in this neighborhood alone. Well, looks like we’ve got a little time to kill. Would you like something to drink?

"Sure," I manage to stammer as I notice his eyes travel up and down my body as if to peel off my top and skirt.

I flop down on the sofa and tell myself to get it together. He’s just being nice to the paying customer! But OMG he’s so hot! Nice firm muscled body and a killer smile. I quickly check myself in the mirror. Damn, I’m blushing like a schoolgirl! I hope my friends are lost!
As he turns the corner he catches a flash of her legs in those fuck-me heels. He stops, thinking "She’s short but those legs go on forever under that little short skirt and he just bet they would feel amazing wrapped around him while he thrust into her tight little body. And her luscious tits in that tank top that just barely contains them. I can just see the hint of nipples perking up in the a/c. I can’t believe my luck staying late on a Friday night. The guys will never believe this!" He checks to make sure he isn’t embarassing himself, taking a deep breath before he enters the room.

"Here’s your drink. It’s Diet Coke and since it’s Friday night I put a little rum in it. Hope you don’t mind, " he says.

"Not at all! I like the way you think! So, how long have you worked here?"

"Six months. It’s been pretty cool so far. They seem to stay pretty busy here."

"I’m very impressed with how clean it is. I thought garages were dirty places filled with grease monkeys...."

Oh shit!! Foot-in-mouth, much!

"I’m just going to wait outside now. Thanks for the drink. My friends should be here soon and really you need to get where you’re going on a Friday night." I ramble on trying to grab my purse and just then I trip over the strap crashing hard against his chest. Stupid heels! I peek up at him and he’s smiling down at me and I get quiet. He lowers his mouth to mine and we combust.

He pulls her to him and wraps his arms around her resting his hands at the top of her ass. He begins inching up her top simultaneously trying to pull her skirt down with the other hand. She pulls his t-shirt out of his waistband and runs her hands over his six-pack abs. He smells amazing. She can feel how hard he is through the fly of his jeans. She inches her hand between them and traces his cock over the zipper.

Finally she’s down to her underwear and he tosses her on the sofa. She laughs and reaches up for his zipper, taking it down and pulling out his erection. She grins and takes him in her hot wet mouth. He moans as her tongue moves over and around the tip, down the shaft tracing his big vein. "Ohhhh..she really knows what she’s doing!" He notices she has her hands in her panties and is rubbing her clit. "God, she’s just as turned on as I am!"

He pulls her off his cock and lays her back on the sofa, pulling down her drenched little bikinis. He fingers her, tracing her lips, "God she’s so wet!" He laps at her soaked pussy, tugging her little clit into his mouth, she writhes under him. He uses her juices to lubricate his finger and slides first one finger then a second after he realizes she can take it. "God she feels so tight!" He can’t take this much longer. He leans over to kiss her and asks "Are you ready for me baby?"

I gasp, "Condoms, purse, on floor."

"You were gonna be a bad girl tonight, hm?"

Later as she was lying on top of him on the sofa playing with his chest hair and rubbing his firm muscles and taut skin, she murmurs "I guess it’s hard work being a mechanic and getting all dirty and sweaty all the time.

He looks down at her bemused. "Mechanic? But I’m just the accountant here, baby."

Postscript:  This was the first story I ever wrote for anyone and yes he was a CPA.  My car had broke down and was in the shop for 4 weeks!   My friend suggested I seduce the mechanic to get it back.  When I did finally go pick up the car, I looked in the window to check everything out and there was a lacy bra in plain sight laying in the back seat.  Oops!  How did it get there?  I'll tell you soon.  :-)

Friday, August 16, 2013

Men At Work

They have been doing some road work on the highway in front of our subdivision.  Every day for the last 2 weeks when I pull up to get out on the road, there is a flagman at the entrance of our road.  Today  I pull up and wait patiently.  Usually I'm fumbling in my purse or checking my phone but today I'm just sitting there waiting for the guy to flip the sign.

It dawns on me suddenly that the flagman is actually a pretty cute guy.  He's a little stocky but not overweight.  Nice, dark eyes, close-shaven hair under the hard hat.  I notice something else too. He's tapping the sign on the ground, kind of twirling it around, pushing and pulling the sign toward himself.

I play it casual and try not to let on that I'm aware of the show he's putting on for me.  I pretend to cough, check my reflection in the visor mirror.  At last we're given the go-ahead and as I pass I give him a big grin and laugh.  He grins right back.

I so wish I had the courage to tell him that "I enjoyed watching you play with your big stick."

FFF- The Watcher- 8/16

Word Length = 200
Required Word = Obligation
Forbidden Words = Payment, Prediliction, Prostitution
Extra Credit = Make it personal
Bonus Words = 25 extra for explaining the tuxedos, 25 more if this isn't about the money


Darren stood at the altar holding the bouquet his errant bride-to-be thrust into his hands before running away.  Alex tapped him on the back , whispering, "you knew she never got over Kevin, bro.  Sorry.  Let's go take advantage of the open bar her Daddy paid for."

He sat there glumly accepting the kind words of sympathy.  It was apparently obvious to everyone but him, Kelly still loved Kevin.  The gifts, house, new car didn't matter!  The bitch!  He reached for the bottle.

The guys gathered at the bar eyed their friend.  "We gotta do something. It's our obligation as groomsmen!"  Scanning the room he spotted the lone and hottest bridesmaid looking wistfully the groom's way.  Suddenly it all clicked into place!

Massive amounts of tequila later, clothes shed & crazy, grinding moving on tha dance floor!  Flash of images in elevator- mirrored walls, her on knees, pants down, dress hiked!  Where's key? FUCK!   HURRY!  Shove into room at last!

Hmmm.she's naked finally! So, so beautiful!  I move my hands to buckle, hardness straining for release but OMG wait.. WHAT...why's she going for him..WTF?  Goddamn it!  Jilted he sat forlornly staring off into distance..wondering.

Go see Advizor if you want to play along!  Happy Friday, peeps!

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Crazy, Messed Up Week

Yay!  My weekend is finally here.  Due to a recent involuntary job change, my weekends begin Saturday night and I'm off on Mondays (admittedly I like this).  I'm so glad this one is over. Nothing majorly bad happened but it just piled on.

I was sick with a sinus infection and missed a day of work (didn't really break my heart).  That night I was at the hospital with my niece who broke her arm earlier that day.  My nephew was terribly upset because she had to have surgery.  That DID break my heart.  He's had a rough time lately. Our beloved dog has gone missing or was taken and there has been no sign of him.  Last week we were both inconsolable and cried ourselves to sleep.

However, kids really bounce back quickly.  Tonight when I arrived at home, he was all excited to show me something.  As it turns out he learned how to make IEDs...aka blowing up water watching a video on YouTube.  So if I disappear suddenly I want you to know it's been really nice knowing and FFF'g with you as my good friend Sassy says.  Hopefully they'll release us from Gitmo when my nephew turns

And worst of all I got the courage to step on the scale...sigh.  Yep a 15lb gain since March!  There were a bunch of contributing factors...eating everything not nailed down,  pure-stinking laziness and it rained for an entire freaking month!  The schedule change did not help..i've never been a morning person and I cherished my evening walks watching the sunset over the mountains.  I'm unhappy and stressed and just really, really need to get over it!  But dammit I did it once and I WILL do it again!

Plus I'm horny and restless.  I need Room 105.  Thank goodness I have a date Monday night.  Attitude..among other things will be adjusted..and then I'll be alright.

Friday, August 9, 2013

FFF-Spoken Word-8/9

  • Required Phrase - advertisement and/or flyer
  • Word length - 320 (3 songs for $20)
  • Forbidden words - Stripperbastardappetizer
  • Bonus Points - reflect the viewpoint of both women
Extra Credit words - Tell us worst experience with a stripper or at a strip club (50 words) and/or, your best (25 words)
He took the flyer and at first he barely glanced at it.  Walking away he caught a glimpse of the girl who put it in his hand. She was slender, wearing one of those crocheted caps, long straight hair flowing from underneath.  Her legs encased in tights, short skirt and sexy thigh-high leather boots.  Reading the advertisement closely now, he slowly walked back toward her thinking of the best way to engage her in conversation.

"Poetry, huh?  Are you the poet?"

Rachel saw him stop and come back.  She rolled her eyes as she was so sick of being approached by these lotharios who always offered coffee and then time in a hotel room to "warm up" for a few hours.  She was an artist not a whore!  She sized him up quickly taking in the expensive overcoat, cut of his suit, and his shoes.  She wanted to tell him to keep moving but rent was due and she couldn't risk offending him if he actually decided to attend her show.

"I'm Raquelle and will be performing here tonight," looking up at the bar's awning above her.  "All the details are on there."

He tucked the flyer in his coat pocket so he wouldn't lose it.  "I'm afraid I don't know very much about art and poetry and the art world.  How about we grab a cup of coffee and you can explain it to me?"

"I really can't as I told the owner I'd pass these out.  You should come, bring your wife. "   Almost blushing at being so obvious, he turned away, whispering "Thanks but I better not.  Nice boots."

"Well then you should definitely come as I'll be wearing them tonight...ONLY them."
Ralph's wife looked at the stage with derision.  When I told him, we needed to add more culture in our lives, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.  "Spoken word poetry, my ass."

I've only been to a strip club once once and it was for a girlfriend's bachelorette party.  They had the usual fantasy roleplay characters for fireman, policeman, doctor.  I have a bunch of pics from that nite, my fav is the one of my gf, the future federal agent, reaching out her hand to touch some guy's ass.  The other memories aren't that great.  I have hardly been sicker.  To top it off we drove the wrong way around the Beltway and our DD was having to stop every few exits to let me get sick.  Ugh.  

As always this has been fun! Enjoy your weekend!  Check out Advizor for more FFF fun!

Monday, August 5, 2013

On A Mission

I was leaving for the beach the next day and stopped by a friend's desk to say bye.  She took one look at me, stressed and exhausted, stood up, took me by the shoulders looked me straight in the eye and told me, "You need to get laid.  That is your mission this weekend."  I laughed at her.  I told her I was going on a family "vacation" and kids would be there.  She just crossed her arms and said, "So."

Long story short, I didn't get laid that weekend but I did make an effort.  I went to the mall and did find some slightly more revealing attire than normal, texted my girlfriend pix and earned her approval.  She told me about a martini bar she had went to previously so I made my way there.  I didn't even catch anyone's eye.  I chatted with the bartenders who introduced me to a Starburst martini...YUM!

It was still early and I had previously made a trip to the liquor store.  I decided to head down to the beach with a cooler of ice and my vodka and Red Bull.  There I began texting my boyfriend, the cause of the stress and exhaustion I was trying to escape from that weekend.  As happens from time to time when drinking, you need to pee and the ocean was right  I waded out did my business and promptly fell in the sand.  I was covered.  I made my way back to the place we were staying and there encountered my mother who was furious because I was drunk and it was 3 a.m.  I waved her off and made my way to the outdoor hose and finally got rid of the chafing sand everywhere.  My mom was still yelling and I'd fucking had enough!  I defiantly stripped off all my clothes, leaving them in a pile in the yard and walked past her naked as the day she delivered me. It shut her up at least.  I left the next much for vacation.

Fast forward a month and things with my soon-to-be ex were really coming to a head.  Another gf from work decided to come to my rescue that night.  I really didn't want to go out but she begged.  Her boyfriend worked at the bar and promised free drinks.  Isn't it funny that the nights we are most reluctant to to go out often turn out to be the most memorable?

I met her at the bar and she introduced me to her new boyfriend.  He was handsome and sweet and very attentive to us both.  I was genuinely glad I had decided to come out.  But as usually happens to me in bars, I attracted unwanted attention of creepy, yucky hangers-on.  This guy was relentless and I guess he was pissed at being rebuffed and started hurling deliberate insults my way.  I had enough and eventually went flying over the table and grabbed him by the collar....completely out of character for me!!  My friend pulled me off and sent me to the bar.

I plopped down in my seat, downed a shot and answered questions of patron next to me as to what happened.  As I was re-telling my side of the events, I realized that I was invading the space of the guy to my right and I apologized.  He swung around to tell me "no worries" and I found it difficult to look away from his siren blue eyes.  We chatted, laughed and flirted the rest of the night.  My friend having dispatched the asshole invited us back to the table.  We joined them and my new friend bought us rounds of shots. We laughed, cut up and carried on, kissing and hands all over each other.  My GF told us we were "sweet."  LOL.

Then he whispered he had a room as the bar we were in was conveniently located in a hotel.  I remember swinging my legs over his and wrapping my arms around his shoulders and pulling him in close for a kiss.  Next thing he was pulling me through the lobby and I remember watching my GF being pulled the opposite direction through the lobby and laughing and blowing kisses at her.

We made it to the room and I stripped quickly.  He was all over me, licking, sucking my nipples and I reveled in the attention. I eventually pulled his boxers down and wrapped my hands around him..not only had I picked up the best-looking man in the bar but also the best hung.  I immediately went down on him...he was rock hard!  He was fingering my pussy and I exploded.  First of many.  He completely manhandled me that night...whatever position he wanted me in, he just flipped me into and positioned me however he wanted.  OMG!  I loved it!  It had been so long since I had been fucked like that.

Eventually we inevitably tired and I had to go.  I left him my number but I knew this was a one-time thing.  It didn't matter, as I walked back to my car, revelling in the feeling of a well-used pussy, I texted my original girlfriend..."Mission Accomplished!"