Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Better than Jagger

I never intended for this to become a weight loss blog (especially since I'm sitting here eating potato chips as I write this), but there was some interest expressed in my previous post The F Word in the comments about how I lost the weight.  I never joined Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig or anything like that.

My weight loss began in the fall around my 40th birthday when about that time my company demanded we work mandatory overtime.  It was pretty easy not to eat after working 14 hour days, day after day, quite often I would come home and fall into bed.  Pretty soon I noticed my clothes were much looser and I tentatively approached the bathroom scale.  I had lost 8lbs expending little or no effort.  Of course I realized this wasn't the healthiest way of losing weight and resolved to go about this differently.

I changed my eating habits, not necessarily what I was eating, but the amount.  I did eliminate certain foods...bubye french fries, nacho cheese Doritos, Snickers.  I tried to increase my exercise but we were still working a pretty heavy schedule.  However, by Christmas that year I had lost 22lbs. and had dropped a pants size.

Then for Christmas my Mom bought me an MP3 player to replace my broken one.  Nothing special...not an Ipod...just a generic brand but how that little bitty machine would change my life!  I immediately began downloading music from my pretty impressive (I think) catalog stored on my computer.  I had missed not having music as the background of my day and I again began listening to music every night.  As sometimes happens when the mood strikes this will lead to the occasional Tom Cruise in Risky Business fit of dancing.  Now i've never been particularly gifted athletically, however,  one thing I can do since the age of 4  (thank you Ms. T!) is dance.

As we were enjoying a particularly mild winter, every night I would dance on my back porch much to the chagrin of the nocturnal woodland creatures living behind my house.  I was shaking my booty to old school 80's, Motown, modern dance,  even country.  And yes my moves were better than Jagger's, the proof being the nearly 40lb loss.  By then people at work were noticing and commenting.  That just encouraged me more.

Of course with any type of weight loss, you reach plateaus.  With the advent of Spring, I was was on one and fighting my way off.  I was determined to break the 200 lb barrier.  I began walking every night, of course listening to my music.  I eventually would do 3 miles almost every night.  I slammed through that barrier watching my legs and ass getting firmer and more toned.  I lost some more sizes and miracle of miracles could now shop in the "normal" women's clothes department.

Hitting another plateau, I changed tactics and began going to the free water aerobics classes offered in our county.  Ordinarily water aerobics is considered pretty geriatric, unless taught by a former Marine Corps drill instructor-HOORAH!  (And on one very memorable occasion by a 26 yr old blond hair, blue eyed hottie with washboard abs!)   In the meantime I was still walking and dancing too.

All this meant that I had lost 80 lbs by August.  I really wanted the century mark but was pretty happy with where I was.  I imagine not very many 40 year olds could say they were smaller now than they were in high school.  I had went from a size 22-women's to a size 10 in less than a year!  I'd never felt so confident, happy! and "ready-to-take-on-the-world!"


And, oh yes, people were noticing.  :-)

Monday, July 29, 2013

My Radio Tortures Me

I love music.  Who doesn't?  Except lately every time I get in my car, my radio is torturing me!   The absolute worst was after a near miss with Curious Rob on parkway.  We were so close and had got a lil hot n heavy...but it didn't happen that night.  So I got in my car to head home only to hear Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing"  I was beating the dashboard in frustration.

Going to work the next day l heard "Hands to Yourself" which is one of the songs Rob sang karoake to over the weekend. I leave work later the same night and turn ignition, and hear Bob Seger's "Turn the Page" which is the other song Rob sang that night.  Sexiest song ever!  The saxophone solo of that song reverberates straight to the pleasure center of my brain!

And the rest of the week, the torture continued.  Springsteen's "I'm On Fire," Exile's "I Want To Kiss You All Over,"  The Stones, "Beast of Burden."

God, I love music and how it can immediately transport you back in time!  It keeps us young, makes us move our bodies frantically or alternately slowly and sensually.  It weaves us together.  So I'm curious....which song/artist/music moves you?

Friday, July 26, 2013

FFF-July 26-Interrogation

Word Length = 356
Required word = suspicion
Forbidden words = Soap, hard, officer, effigy
Bonus words (25) = Tell us, who's the sexiest cop on TV?
Extra Credit (25) = Confess to a crime you committed (or want to commit)

"You don't have to stand there staring-trying to intimidate me.  After all you caught me red-handed."

He eyed her with suspicion.  His strategy was to let her keep talking.  He knew eventually she'd give him what he wanted.  The more she talked, the deeper the hole she dug for herself.

"This is torture you know.  You can't keep me in the shower forever.  Can't I at least turn the water off and get dressed?!  I'm pretty sure Congress decided water-boarding is unconstitutional!," her voice going up an octave.

She kept chattering on while her mind raced trying to think of a way out of this.  She knew full well she was caught but if she could just think of something!  Just then the water began running colder causing her nipples to peak.  Catching the sensation she looked down at herself.  When she looked back up she made sure she was wearing her most sultry look. 

She stepped into the shower spray and began running her hands up and down her body.  When she got to her breasts and taut nipples, she moaned softly throwing her head back.  She arched her back against the shower wall thrusting her chest out in her most inviting manner.  Brushing her hands over her perfectly flat stomach, she let out a louder moan. 

He had been watching her performance silently and rolled his eyes at her obvious tactic.  Determined not to be affected , he decided to let her indulge herself and see exactly how far she would go.  He watched bemused as she ran her hands over her breasts and stomach.  He could hear her moans and soft intakes of breaths.  His eyes followed her fingers as they pinched her hard nipples.  He shifted a bit as her fingers floated down her flat belly, to the juncture of her thighs.  He heard his own sharp inhale as they parted.

She risked a peak at him under her lashes.  She knew she had to do everything in her power to get his attention.  She spread her thighs wider and touched her slit, surprised to feel how damp she was.  Gasping, she couldn't resist passing her fingers over her clit, rubbing in tighter and tighter circles.  Moaning, completely uninhibited now, knowing he was watching, she began sliding down the shower wall.  Her hands moving faster now, she was writhing on the tile.  Suddenly she felt another set of hands on her body.  He lifted her against him and she wrapped her legs around him.  Now he was captured as much as she as she felt him slide into her slick wetness.  Stealthily she reached for his gun.

Sexiest Cop:  Sexy bald head.  He knows how to lick (a lollypop anyway), and he has the best deep, gravelly, husky, sexy voice asking, "Who loves ya baby?"  Swoon.  It's KOJAK.
Crime I need to commit:  I need to rob a tycoon of at least a couple million ...but I'd love to be able to pull it off in the cool Oceans 11- Mission Impossible kinda way..complete with the great wardrobe (natch) and the kick ass soundtrack! 

Y'all have fun this wkend!

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Exit 137

That's the exit off the interstate where I booked the room for my rendezvous with Rob on Monday night.  All day I was giddy and a little nervous.  I was off that day and planned a mini-vacay of shopping, perhaps some better dining options than usual and then I would make my way to the hotel. laid plans and all that. At the mall I was completely uninterested (except for the lingerie dept.)  I gave up around 2:30 and went to the room with 3 hours to kill.

Although Rob and I had several previous adventures, I was more than a little tense.  I'd had the Foreigner song "Feels Like the First Time" as a soundtrack in my mind all day.  I took a shower, ordered our pizza, called a girlfriend, all in an effort to chill.  Finally I went for some liquid courage and it helped.

At last it was 5 o'clock here and I couldn't wait to see him.  The pizza was delivered and the next knock was his.  I opened the door and my anxiety vanished! Now it was ALL anticipation.  And need.  And want.  And tongues, and hands...everywhere.  Clothes were shed and finally we were tumbling and stumbling towards the king size (somewhat elusive..for us) bed.  I trembled and shook under his hands and talented fingers.  When i felt his tongue on my clit, I shattered!  The first of countless orgasms for me that night!

We took full advantage of every inch of that bed.  I got on my knees to taste his hard cock, he pulled me around for a HOT 69, i rode him on top for a bit.  And then he put my legs over his shoulders and gave me the fucking my aching pussy needed so bad.  O.M.G. I needed and wanted him to cum inside of me.  I loved his grunt when he shot.

After we cleaned up,  we dove for the pizza box and some co-ed naked snuggling on the loveseat.  We laughed at the equally cheesy as the pizza movie on tv but then those laughs got serious.  He was twisting and kissing and pulling my nipples and the pizza was instantly forgotten!  We were back on the bed and he was between my legs with his tongue on my clit...I was in heaven. Again and again and again.

Despite just having ate, I felt insatiable for his cock!   I lavished attention on him using my tongue sucking him intensely, loving the feel & taste of him in my mouth.  Nothing excites me more than feeling a cock grow hard under my tongue.  I adored looking into his beautiful eyes while running my tongue around his head.   But he pulled me up and gave me the most delicious hug and hottest kiss.  I whispered how I loved feeling his hands on me.  And then he fulfilled his previous given promise...

And massaged me.  I melted into the mattress under his strong, sensual touch.  It was pure bliss to feel his hands dig into my muscles, run over my flesh, knead my neck, caress my ass..mmmmm.  I gasped as I felt his lips on my neck nibbling and kissing.  I couldn't stand it.  I wanted him to fuck me again...hard!

And he obliged..once again with my knees over his shoulders.  I begged him to cum for me and he did.  After we were hot and sweaty..lying on the bed.  He dragged me up and pulled me into the shower where we soaped each other other up.  We got dressed.  Our night had come to an end.  The bed felt awfully empty after he was gone.

Too early I was up the next morning with the feint hope I'd hear his knock on the door but it wasn't to be.  I crawled back under the covers for a bit still relishing the night before. Somewhat sadly later on I texted Rob that Room 105 was about to "officially" close.  His texted response echoed mine


Monday, July 22, 2013

Moving & Shaking

Good morning.  I had a fairly typical weekend for me.  I worked Saturday (yuck..but it is what it is).  Then went to Wallyworld and forgot to buy things as usual.  Although I still managed to spend a good portion.  I spent part of the weekend assembling and disassembling a 55 inch big screen TV.  As bad as I am with technology, my Mom is worse.  She managed to buy the (probably) only lemon in the store so we took it back apart, loaded it up and managed the exchange.  Fortunately, the second one worked and all is well.  Finished the evening with dinner and margaritas with a friend I haven't seen in awhile.  So all in all a very nice weekend.

In other developments, I had not one but two men ask me out this weekend!  A rarity for me.    It's always feast or famine.  The only complication is that they would both be violations of the "Girl Code"  wherein you don't date a friend's ex.   This is such a small town and pickings are slim for 40 something singles.  But I absolutely don't want or need drama either.  Again this is such a small town.  I got their numbers so we'll see what happens.

And then there's the very best of all.  I have a special date tonight! :-)

Happy Monday everyone!

_ _ And she walks off singing "I'm So Excited" _ _

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Friday, July 19, 2013

FFF-July 19-Innocent

Word Length - 444
Required Word/Phrase - IngĂ©nue (pronounced an-zhuh-noo)
Forbidden Words - Mirror, Pasta, Doggie, Tutu
25 bonus words - Share an experience that happend at a performance
Extra Credit - Explain where her mother is (25 extra words)
If you want to play along go see Advizor-the MAN for all your FFF fun

She paced and paced in her dressing room.  She’d been onstage hundreds of times now yet every single time her heart would pound, she’d break out in a sweat and she’d get that nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

Tonight was much worse.  Tonight she knew she had to give the performance of her life.  But it wouldn’t be onstage that counted.  Behind the scenes is where she would earn her “Oscar" and quite possibly her freedom. 

Sitting at her dressing table thinking back to when she first met him.  She was working the tables after a particularly spirited performance.  When she first made eye contact with him, she didn’t give him a second glance.  It was when she walked by him and he had softly said those words that made her stop in her tracks and ease her self slowly into a chair in front of him.  “I can get you out of here.”
When the knock came, she jumped.  It was on now.  She glanced at the table to make sure all was ready replaying the instructions silently.  She opened the door.
“Hi there,” Sam said,  “you look especially ravishing tonight.” 

She giggled and blushed.  “C’mon in.  Let’s have a drink before the show starts.”  She walked to the table and picked up the glasses, carefully handing him the correct one.  She had dropped the powder in before he arrived.
“Here’s to tonight’s show, babe.”   They clinked glasses.  He took a deep, long draft, downing it in one swallow.  “C’mere babe.  I’m ready for my private show.”  She walked slowly towards him, watching for any signs the poison was working.  He kissed her.   She moaned and groaned and moved her body against him exaggerating her movements.  He bent her over the bench and prepared to enter her forcefully.  She held her breath and then she heard him collapse behind her.
She sprang into action knowing she only had minutes before he was discovered.  She shed that ridiculous garment, changing quickly and grabbed the bag she had packed. Peeking out the door checking the hallway, she spotted him.  She ran quickly to him, kissing him.  “Hurry baby!  Security is already on the way!”
They ran out the door to the alley and he ushered her into the cab.  She bent her head and sighed.  “Mama, I’m coming home to Tennessee.”  Which is how she missed it.  Sam had stood at the back door bracing himself in the frame.  He threw a wave to his buddy.  “Christ.  As good as she was on the stage, she really was an ingenue.”
This is always so much fun writing these stories!  Although I don't really need the extra words this week (444! nailed it), I did tell you where Mama was.  But I can't really think of any performance-related experiences.  And, lol, why would pasta be forbidden?  

Enjoy your weekend and Live Mas, People!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Hypocrite Much?

JFBreak in his post yesterday touched on something that I've recently been thinking about.  He was talking about charging teens with distributing child pornography to prevent them from sexting each other.  While it's true that these pics could have potentially damaging long-term repercussions, I don't see how labeling a mischievous teen a child pornographer wouldn't be as equally bad or worse.  They say juvenile records are sealed but I wouldn't put much stock in that in this digital age.

And I wonder too if the people charging them with the "crimes" don't feel a bit hypocritical.  From my experience sexting by adults has become almost common place even in my little ultra-conservative spot on the map.  I'm not a parent but I do have children in my life that I love and care for.  My nephew recently got his first cell phone and I remember when he answered a call from a number no one recognized.  A little frisson of panic went up my spine.

When I got my first camera phone I distinctly remember vowing to myself that I would never send naughty pics to anyone.  That was laughable and more than a bit naive!  That very night showing my phone to my then boyfriend, his exact words were, "Now you can send me pics of your boobs!"  A few days later I was confessing to a friend that I did something I told myself I would never do.  Now I don't even bat an eye when I get a pic request. (Not that I send pix to just anyone either.)

Now I blog about sex and i'm sure the day will come when I post a naughty pic here.  I guess the question I'm fumbling to get out is, to the bloggers I read who are parents, do you feel a bit hypocritical talking to your teens and tweens about internet safety and privacy when you know you posted a hot pic of your wife on her knees in front of you last night (or the top of his head while he was between your thighs)?  After all I had to Gibbs-smack myself later after telling my nephew to not answer calls from people that weren't in his contacts knowing full well I'd had phone sex with some random guy I met online the night before.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

And....We Miss Again

Sunday I had my second date with the very sexy and talented Rob.  Rarely (lately) we had a nice sunny day and decided to take advantage by checking out the scenery at our local mountain top parkway.  It is well known for its beautiful views of the valley below and has to be one of the most beautiful places on earth come the fall when the leaves are in full glory.  Therefore, there are lots of overlooks at some of the most scenic spots sprinkled every few miles.  These places are, of course, very public but very often there are trails that lead away to a more secluded spot.

So our search began for that perfect spot.  We had a couple of false starts but each time we would take advantage as much as we could.  We would kiss and touch and feel before once again being interrupted by a car driving up.  And off we would go to the next.  Finally we pulled to the end of a lot with no one there.  And very nicely there was a shaded area a little off to the side and under the lot that afforded a little privacy.  Rob turned and asked if I cared to take a walk and I said, "Sure."

He pulled me into his arms and his hands moved under my shirt, under my bra and began teasing my nipples and then he took them into his mouth and worked them with his tongue...I began moaning and we sought out a little more privacy under the tree.  He had already given me one delicious orgasm that day and I wanted to return the favor.  I could feel how hard he was and I suddenly had to taste his cock and dropped to my knees.  I took his beautiful cock in my mouth and worked him well with my tongue .  But we were under a tree, my knees leaving prints in the mud and my thighs began cramping.  My knees were weak and Rob caught me and pulled me up.

Things immediately got more intense.  My shorts dropped and we were kissing passionately. He brought me to another intense orgasm with his talented fingers.  I was seconds away from throwing him in the grass and riding that hard cock for all I was worth..when suddenly the high chirped beep of a car alarm rudely brought us to our senses. Peeking over his shoulder I saw a couple deliberately looking hard in the other direction.  Rob and I fixed my clothes giggling the whole time time while driving down  the mountain. He dropped me at my car.  I was a little frustrated and disappointed because he didn't get his.

On the drive up, I had mentioned that I would also be in town the next day shopping with a friend and too bad we couldn't meet.  I texted my friend that night and got no response about our pending trip.  I sent a feeler email to Rob checking to see if he could potentially meet the next day....fortunately his answer was "yeeessssss"  I got confirmation the next day from my friend she couldnt make it and texted Rob.  And so it was on.

I spent my afternoon at the pool teasing Rob with pix and wishing he was there.  Finally the hour was here and I drove north more determined than ever to get fucked...hard.  We met at the same place again and set off again on the parkway.  Rob knew of a place that seemed perfect for what we had in mind.  Again we had a few false starts..still taking advantage of each one.  And then we found it...we pulled in and parked.  And almost as soon as we got out of the car..another one pulled in.  I didn't care and up the trail we went.

It was rocky and stupidly I did not wear the most practical shoes for the terrain. (Yes i went "hiking" in  We found a perch against a rock and he immediately kissed me deep, shoved up my shirt and began twisting and pinching my nipples......mmmmmmm.  I dropped to my knees on the blanket I remembered to bring and again tasted his hard cock. There was a drop of pre-cum which I lapped up.   But I wanted him inside me so bad.   I stood up..and my eyes fell directly into the line of sight of the car that had pulled in behind us.  Argggggh!  He was still there.  We waited, made out a little more, and eventually we looked at each other, shook our heads, and collected ourselves and walked out of the woods.

Why this man had to pick this particular spot at this time to contemplate suicide, text his lover, worship Buddha, what-the-fuck ever, I don't know.   But I do know, I WILL fuck this man again.  Maybe even one day in a

Friday, July 12, 2013

FFF-July 12-Phone Lines

Required Phrase =
"Answer it"

Forbidden Words = Orgasm

Word Length = 661

Extra Credit = Tell us who's calling

Bonus Words = 50 if you tell us a phone sex confession

"Don't answer it."

He kisses her gently on the forehead.  "You know I have to, baby.  That will be the colonel."

She rolls over on her side with her back to him unwilling to let him see her fear.  She knew it was inevitable that this call would come.  But no matter when, it would have been too soon.    The country was at war and needed all their young heroes.  But he was her hero first.

"Yes sir.  I can report by 0900 tomorrow.  I will meet you at the station."

He laid the phone on the bed to bar any further intrusions as he knew this time was as precious as she.  He looked at her lying there with her back to him.  The spill of her silky hair over her shoulder, the satin smooth skin of her back.  He drank in every curve as if to imprint this moment for he knew he would carry it with him during the invasion.

He gently touched her shoulder and rolled her toward him.  She touched his face sweetly.  He could just see the glimmer of tears in her eyes.  He couldn't bear to see them fall.  Suddenly he was hot with anger.  White, hot anger that some bitter, angry, insane man half a world away would cause her pain by taking him away.

He pulled her roughly to him.  Rolled over her, crushing her underneath.  She immediately responded.  Her legs wrapped around him.  He bit her lip, drawing a bead of blood.  She raked his back with her nails.  He bruised her flesh with the force of his thrusts.  And, oh God, she thrilled to it, matching his passion and fury.  He seared her softness with his heat. He wanted her burnt, scarred, sealed for his return. Only he would be her salve.  She would be his salvation.

Hours later she watched him get dressed in his stiff uniform.  He donned his cap and tipped it to her.  After he left, she wandered to the window and saw in the delicate reflection of the glass their future tempered in steel.  She, Rosie, had riveted him to her heart.

Note:  I loved this pic!  It immediately brought to mind the glamour of the 40's.  Such a sad era..but  a romantic one too.  I have no no clue how many words i used....cant count that

I confess that I feel quite shy at first during phone sex.  You have to start and then I'll join in.  I promise.  Passionately, possibly quite loudly.  But i do love hearing your deep, sexy voice on the phone.  I've been told, I have quite the sexy phone voice.  So call me, baby!!

Thursday, July 11, 2013


I feel blah, ambivalent, almost empty.  And I have absolutely no reason for it.  Well maybe that isn't completely true.  The last 3 weeks have seen some major upheavals in my life.  Particularly on the job front.  I was kicked off my team, my shift was changed, and i'm forced to do a job I have zero tolerance for (think telemarketer....ugh).  While I didn't really have much of a life before,  it stll threw me into a tailspin.  And I feel all out of sorts.

AND IT WILL NOT STOP RAINING.  Every.  Single.  Day.  (Weatherman in the summer in the south has to be the easiest job in the, humid, with a chance of it in.)  So much for that pool membership I splurged on this year.

And to compound it all,  6 years ago yesterday was the day I lost my Dad.  And I almost didn't remember it.  So maybe that's it.  This week is really never going to be fondly remembered I guess.

I know it's going to get better very soon.  I see good things on the horizon.  I've begun seeing a wonderful man.  And any minute now the phone is going to ring with my new job offer on the line.

But right now I just feel blah.  :-/

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

About Last Night..

I was nervous yes..but not too much...which is kind of unusual for me on a first date.

I'd felt comfortable with him almost from the start.  I knew he was smart, sexy, confident...always a big turn on.  Plus he had the most beautiful eyes.....

I did all the things we gurlz do when you just have THAT feeling that "tonite might be a good nite;-)"  Highlights, mani/pedi., trim/wax/shave "down there", shop for new lingerie, the perfect perfume.

We met at the restaurant..casually walking in (although i really wanted to launch myself in his arms).  Dinner seemed was good,  the connection I felt immediately.  I couldn't wait to get out of there!!  Time to blow this pop stand!

He held my hand as he was driving me around and showed me his town.   Then we parked..(yes,in the best kind of way!! ;-)  He massaged my shoulders..just feeling his hands on me was almost enough.  I moaned and then we adjourned to a more private place.

But it was just public enough to feel a little taboo...I Liked it!  Clothes pushed aside, clasps undone(one-handed no less!),kissin, stroking, dropping to knees, tasting, touching...OMG..(whew! excuse me for a minute)  Stripped naked..bending over a chair!  OMG..the moment when i felt ur HARD cock in my lil pussy for the 1st time..sublime.

I could not stop kissing him..still don't want to! OMG!  But we had to fade away..for the night at least.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Simple Pleasures

I think I may make this a regular post.  We all need positive thoughts to get the week started off right, yes?

:  Milky Way candies...chocolate+caramel=ecstasy....nuf said
:  Pedicures...cuz feet need loving too
:  Cheezy '80's flicks..cuz "no one puts Baby in a corner"
:  Peter Gabriel.....In Your Eyes.....this song will always make me melt
:  The ocean...all i will ever need to make me happy

What are your simple pleasures?

Friday, July 5, 2013

FFF-July 5-Independence Day

Key Word - Independence or Independence Day
Word Limit - 237
Forbidden Word - Fireworks
Extra Credit - Put the action on July 5th

She never would have guessed she would be more excited to take the dress off than she had been to put it on for the first time. 

I knew, of course, I knew.  They thought they were getting away with something.   I saw the late night texts, the constant eye contact and giggles at all the pre-wedding showers.  I should have known better than to make Lisa my maid of honor. After all she had tried to steal every other boyfriend I had in college.  Why should my fiance be any different? 

When I saw them slink away at the rehearsal luncheon, I knew my plan had worked.  I had texted each of them a room number and a time.  It was easy enough to book an extra room at the hotel.  I know I shouldn't have done that to Daddy but I thought I left my wallet in "my" room.  He was a dear to get it for me. 

The look on Brian and Lisa's faces was classic when Daddy walked in.  I couldn't resist tagging along.  Chaos ensued.  Daddy started yelling, Lisa went running & crying into the bathroom.  The rest of the wedding party came crashing in when they heard the racket.  Brian tried what he could to maintain his shattered dignity.  And then all eyes turned to me.

I blew Brian a kiss, a wink at Brian's hotter-than-hot best friend, grabbed the bottle of champagne Brian had so thoughtfully provided, hugged Daddy and bolted. 

Shedding that dress I never felt better.  Who knew my wedding day would also be my Independence Day!

Author's note: I may have ran a little over but I had so much fun participating in my 1st ever FFF.  Enjoy your weekend! 

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

The F Word

NO!!  Not that one.  The REALLY bad one (at least in my mind) was Forty.  The big 4-0.  Yes, yes I know.  Age is just a number, it's all in how you feel and for sure it's better than the alternative.  But I struggled with it.  It was the end of my 30's and in my mind, it felt like the end of my youth. 

It was 2011.  I had been out of work for 18 months (I live in a really depressed area).  I lost my house to foreclosure.  I had to move back in with my Mom.  And there it was.  I was the stereotype...a near 40 yr old living in her mother's basement.  My worst nightmare.  Except it was worse than that.  I had let my weight balloon to near 250 lbs.  (YIKES..I know!)  So I was a fat, sluggish, almost 40 yr old living in her mother's basement.  Needless to say I had zero self-esteem and faced with this milestone coming up I knew something had to change. 

I couldn't change the number so I changed me.  I eventually landed a job and was blessed to work with some great people, have a terrific mentor and make some very good friends.  Oh and I lost the weight...I lost 80 lbs in less than a year.  YAY ME!  It was an epiphany. 

Suddenly I wasn't invisible anymore.  People would look me in the eye.  I could actually shop WITH my friends in the same department.  I even noticed men's heads turning when I walked by.  (yes, it's an ego boost no matter what we women say).  I no longer looked down when I walked and held my head up to meet people's smiles.  I grew some confidence and people noticed.  I felt like a different person when 41 rolled around.  I didn't hide from that birthday, I celebrated it.  

Yes, age really is just a number.  My 40th year wound up being one of the most fun years of my life.  I met new people, made new friends-online and in real life.   I got out of the basement and began living again.  It's been a blast and I have lots to look forward to.