Tuesday, December 31, 2013

What? Has it Been That Long?

Wow!  It's been 6 months yesterday since my blogging adventures began.  What a wonderful adventure it has been!  I'm so grateful to be a part of this community and for all of the friends I have made here.

I remember I was so bored at work last summer and logged onto AM and was discouraged once again.  My first AM contact had flipped his lid and went on a rant against all women! WTF!!!  I was disgusted and wanted to know if this whole AM thing was a scam so I Googled and stumbled upon The AM Adventures of a Regular Guy Gone Bad.  I quickly read through his archive and I was hooked.  But over on the right was a list of other similarly minded people.  What a fascinating world I stumbled into.

I kept reading and finally stumbled onto another blog that would change my course again. It was about a curious guy called Rob.  By this time I had begun commenting on a few blogs and realizing he was fairly close to me, I got up enough courage to write to him. (When I went back to check, it was exactly 7 months yesterday I wrote to him!)  This led to several adventures over the summer, the highlight culminating at Exit 137.

I will always be grateful to Rob for encouraging me to start blogging and for making my introduction to many of you.  Thank you so much.  On another note, my heart is hurting for you right now and please know that I'm there for you in anyway I can be.

One of the things I had most anticipated about blogging was being able to participate in Advizor's FFF.  I remember how anxious I was when I published my first effort and how gratified I was to receive such nice comments.  Advizor announced this week he is passing the torch to the wonderful Thomas at Three Spelling Mistakes.  Thank you Advizor for being such a wonderful host.  Thomas will also be an excellent host and he writes the most creative and interesting posts.  (But I've never found any spelling mistakes.)

All in all blogging has been wonderful and I'm so grateful to have made such wonderful friends.  I look forward to many more adventures.  There were definitely some low points this year (that whole job situation is still trying to get worked out).  And I'm anticipating a move this year (I hate moving!) whether I stay local or move a little further away hasn't been decided yet.

And then there's been an aspect of blogging, I didn't quite expect.  That is meeting and interacting with the readers of the blog.  It has led to a quite pleasant surprise.  Jamie, a wonderful man I've been talking to for awhile whom I haven't mentioned yet.  We have plans to meet soon and I absolutely cannot wait!

Thank you to everyone for reading, commenting, lurking (I see you out there).  I hope everyone has a wonderful new year and please, please stay safe on the roads.

Thursday, December 19, 2013


Word Limit213
Required Ending- "WOW, that was.....(fill in the blank)"
Forbidden words -Smoke
Bonus Words Don't leave her alone (unless you are into that)
Extra Credit - Buy and extra present for a local Christmas toy drive (50 words and a smug feeling of satisfaction for each toy donated)

Go see Santa Claus to see who's naughty or nice this Fff.  No wait..go see Advizor.  I get them mixed up..lol.

They had two amazing adventures on Skype the two previous nights.  It was the first time they had actually seen each other.  Although they had been teasing each other with words on a screen for weeks.  The chemistry between them was electric.  They set each other on fire with their words and the images exchanged.  Soon they would meet.  

Sadly she couldn't see him on video the third night.   She begged him to call her.  He promised he would but he gave instructions.  She listened intently.  He told her to go to her bed and lie back.  She should be naked and her fingers should be stroking her clit.  She should insert one finger, then two, then three.  She arched her back and tried to comply.  Despite her wetness, she barely managed two fingers.  The phone rang. 

She answered with a sharp intake of breath.  

"Hello,  Sir"  

"Are your fingers where they should be?" He asked.

"Yes," she moaned into his ear.

"Good girl."

She squirmed with glee. It was so nice to hear his deep voice. He gave her a gift and asked her what she wanted. She longed to massage his shoulders, ease his stress, drop to her knees before him.  Taste his release.  

He verbally lashed her with his tongue.  She lay there on the bed, panting, legs spread when she noticed the first whisp between her legs

Wow..oh WTF!

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

The Bored Meeting Pt 1

"I now call this meeting to order," intoned the mayor.  "Please read the minutes from the last meeting into the record."

Giles sat back and listened as Sally droned on in that high pitched nasal voice and tried to tune it out.  Looking around he realized that Andrea was actually sitting beside him tonight.  Every meeting lately she had seemed a little more flirtatious, dressed a little more scantily, smelled more delicious.  He hoped he wasn't imagining it was for his benefit.

Suddenly he felt everyone looking at him expectantly.  He started guilty and realized they were waiting for him to open the floor for new business.

"Oops, you caught me."  The small crowd chuckled.

"Any new business?" he asked and then sighed as Mr. Winston leapt to his feet to regale them with his usual complaints of speeding traffic, barking dogs, etc.  He closed his eyes and sighed again as he caught a whiff of Andrea' s perfume.  He snuck a peek and realized she had moved her chair closer to his.  Shaking his head, he tried to refocus on the meeting.  He was the mayor for heaven's sake!

Suddenly he felt something brush softly against his leg.  Dismissing it as his imagination, he concentrated on Mr. Winston' s prattling.

Suddenly he heard her murmur,  "He's in fine form tonight.  But not as fine as you."   His eyes shot to her face .  She was calmly looking ahead while her silk stockinged foot eased under his slacks and up his leg.  He slumped a little more in his seat and angled his body toward her.  He looked decidedly ahead even though his heart was racing and he could feel his body stir.

Her soft foot was making patterns as it slowly stroked his leg.  He risked another glance.  He caught his breath when he saw her sweet Cheshire cat smile.  The little minx was enjoying this.  He let her go on wanting to see how far she would take this.  Her hand joined her foot on his leg.  She was drawing figure eights with her fingertips drawing ever closer to the object of her desire.  Catching her hand in his, he silently used his foot and slid her chair closer.  Hearing her sharp intake of breath, he smiled.  It was time to turn the tables on her.

Meetings are so productive, aren't they?  Since quite a few of you happen to spend a lot of time in one meeting or the other, I hope you can use this as a distraction in the next one.  You better get going...wouldn't want you to be late.  Look for the conclusion soon. 

Thursday, December 12, 2013


What a fun word to say!   Widget! Widget! Widget!  Lol.  OK...I'll stop.  All that to say I added an email widget if anyone cares to follow that way.  I'd hate for anyone to miss my pointless rantings.  :) Hope you're all having a good day.  Hold on...the weekend is almost here.

And...Widget! Widget! Widget!

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

All Steamed Up

Hello there!  Haven't been posting much because until recently not much had been going on.  That changed a bit yesterday.  I had been chatting online with a very nice gentleman from AM.  We had a couple of cancellations but finally had a chance to get together yesterday.  We were hoping for more time together but it was kind of a crazy morning for me and I got a late start.

Due to the inclement weather (ice glazing the trees-not the roads, thankfully) we had a little change of plans and met near his office.  He asked what I wanted to do and I suggested breakfast.  I was a little nervous and was completely embarassed because I had driven my sister-in-law's car.  It was a disaster.  Drink cans and trash everywhere.  But he said it was OK and off we went with him behind the wheel.  Tightly behind the wheel....he's a pretty big guy.

Breakfast was low key and we chatted a bit getting to know each other.  After we drove around for a bit and we seemed more relaxed with each other.  Before getting back to his office, he pulled into a parking garage.  We sat looking at each other and then he leaned in  for a kiss.  And then it was on.  We made out for awhile and things were getting pretty hot.  We steamed up all the windows actually.  :)  He pulled and twisted my nipples and reached his hand inside my shirt.  He put my hand on him over his jeans and he was hard and hot.  Eventually he took his cock out and I leaned over and took him in my mouth.  What a mouthful!  He is a big guy in every sense of the word!  I got him wet with my tongue and took him in as deep as I could.  Later he put his hands in my hair and pulled me to him passionately and kissed me so deep.  Mmmmm.  I liked that.  I've mentioned before that it's OK to manhandle me a little bit.  Yes, please.

Eventually we calmed down and he had to go back to work.  I spent the rest of the day in his town and went shopping and had lunch.  I must have been in a complete daze because I got lost and turned around leaving his area.  I didn't have any luck shopping but I really wasn't in the mood.  Well not for shopping anyway.  ;)

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Well That Was Different

Tonight at work, I had my first (and hopefully only) panic or anxiety attack.  I've never felt anything like that and it was a very scary feeling.  I couldn't stop shaking, my heart was pounding and I was crying uncontrollably.  I know what triggered it and I'm fine now.  Well, maybe a little bit shaky.

It goes back to my father's illness and me taking care of him.  I was assigned to work in the colorectal cancer research study tonight.  My father and grandmother both died of colon cancer.  I was at my desk reading about the type of research we would be doing and immediately began flashing back.  I felt uncomfortable at first and then my hands began trembling as I was typing.  I decided to go to the restroom and splash water on my face and wrists since I felt hot.  Then I went back to my desk and said "Fuck it" and bummed a smoke from a friend (I was weak).

When I got outside, it began.  I'm pretty sure Rob thought I was losing my mind.  Thank you for helping me keep my shit together!  I made it back inside and had sense enough to talk to the "sensible" supervisor.  He immediately took me into an office and I explained what was going on.  I was instantly removed from the project.  My relief was immediate.

Later I managed to speak to my friend at work I call "My Old Army Buddy."   He told me what I was feeling was PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder).  I tried to deny it.  I was never anywhere close to combat!   He grabbed and shook me and said  "But you were in trauma!"   And I guess I was.  I was fighting my memories.  I was fighting my Dad's cancer. I was fighting my mind.

I surrender. So I'm using this as my platform to say "Please, please get tested for colorectal cancer.  I know..oh how I know the tests are terrible..but it can save your life!!"   Please support Wounded Warriors Project and the American Cancer Society.  I'm going to bed now.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

FFF-Black Friday

Key Words:  Family, gravy boat, butter knife
Word Limit:  1621 seems like too many, so 261.1
Forbidden words:  cock, caught, eat, feast, satiated
Extra Credit:  Let's keep it within the (extended) family

Bonus Words: Donate 5 cans of food to your local

"Good morning, hun.  Coffee ready?"

She kissed him as she put the mug in his hand.   He leaned on the counter  and surveyed the kitchen.  All was in order now but later after everyone arrived it would look like a plundered battlefield.  Oh well, it was worth it to have his family home again.

"Do we have any champagne in the house?" she asked.

"I think we drank the last bottles for your birthday.  We have plenty of wine.  Why do we need champagne?"

"It's Jason, of course.  I think he's going to propose to Candace.  We'll need something to celebrate."

"How can he propose and I've never even met her!"  His roar shook the gravy boat!  Muttering about gold diggers and pregnancy traps, he paced the kitchen.   She eased him down on the barstool, rubbing his shoulders.  Looking him in the eye, she shook and reassured him with a glance.  Their son had never taken a wrong step yet.

"I think I have a magnum or two at the office.  I'll just get some air and get it real quick."  He grabbed his phone and sent a quick text as he headed out the door.  

She met him at the office.  He seemed to need her more than usual.   He grabbed her immediately and pushed her against the wall.   He forced himself deep down her throat.  She sucked him greedily.  He ripped off her thong and pushed himself deep inside.

She cleaned up hastily knowing she couldnt see him again.

He answered the door, smiling seeing his son.

"Dad, this is Candace."

Cande exhaled as she walked in.  Already feeling like one of the family, she winked at "Dad".

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everyone has a very nice holiday with their friends and family.  Stay safe out there. Quite unusually it is snowing here today but there is no accumulation expected.  I just wanted to take the time to say thank you to the followers of this blog and how much I appreciate everyone who's commented here.  Although new at this, everyone has welcomed me so kindly and I've enjoyed it immensely.  Enjoy the feasting, football and family time.  Oh and Happy Hanukkah too!

Friday, November 22, 2013

FFF-11/22-Up The Waterspout

Key Words:  (searching or seeking) and asphalt
Word Limit:  210
Forbidden words:  flippers
Extra Credit:  What kind of trees are in the background?
Bonus Words: Donate to the Red Cross fund for the Philippines hurricane relief, or to their general fund  1 word per dollar.

Thank you so much, Advizor for choosing my suggestion this week. And what a wonderful gesture encouraging people to donate to the Phillipines relief effort.  

She knew better than to swim during a storm but she was seeking something as wild and free as she.  Swimming desperately away from the waterspout, she felt her body being lifted- transported. When she came to, Belinda found herself in a strange land.  It was flat and those trees weren't her native palms.  Wherever she was, it was obvious she wasn't in Oz anymore.  

She began walking toward the only landmark she recognized, the black (fool's gold?) brick road. As she walked and gazed around she flashed back to tales told to her by her grandmother, Glinda. Of a strange visitor landing from "Kansas", a flat uninteresting land much like she was surrounded by now. Of her grandmother's close friend Dorothy and her little dog too. A metal man. And a straw one, flying monkeys, and a pail of water, lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

As she at last reached the edge of the gray bricks, she collapsed.  She watched the approach of the strange vehicle.  Pulling alongside the depleted mermaid, Dorothy made her way painfully to the side of her friend's progeny sprawled on the scalding asphalt.  At last she knew how to return the gift of ruby slippers she had been given long ago...she leaned over and whispered in the mermaid's ear, "there's no place like home."

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Tuesday Funnies

Because Mondays are well, Mondays.  Wednesday is Hump Day.  Thursday you're gearing up for the weekend and, of course, Thank God for Fridays.  Apparently nothing good happens on a Tuesday.  Plus I just think these are funny and decided to share.

Please leave your answer to "what's the question?" in the comments.

Yoga pant heaven...lol.

May the Force be with him.

I think Batman can take him.  

Happy Tuesday everyone!  :)

Monday, November 18, 2013

Monday Roundup

Hello!  It was an absolutely beautiful fall day here today.  Temps in the mid-60s and gorgeous blue skies.  (I refuse to say Carolina blue!  I hate the Heels!!)  My weekend was uneventful as usual but I did have something to look forward to this week.  Thankfully today I had a chance to get out and about and enjoy this lovely weather.

Rob and I haven't met in awhile but we do chat often.  Early on I fell into the habit of asking him "what's for lunch?"  Most days his usual response is a microwave meal.  So today I "saved" him from his usual response and bought him lunch.  The brisket was good but I was just so glad to see him.  Our conversation wound down and he walked me out.  My eyes were begging him for a kiss.  He hesitated but then pulled me close and kissed me. YES!  So worth it.  Later I texted that I wished I had him for dessert.  I think he agreed.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Flash Fiction Friday-11/15- She Remembers

FFF Challenge - You have 100 words to make me cum.

You get 25 extra words if you write it on Thursday and do it in one draft, typos and all.

Short and simple this week.  Go see Advizor to play along.  Apparently he's in quite the mood this week.  :)

Closing her eyes, she slides her hand between her legs.  She remembers.

He pulled and tugged her nipples.  She twists.

He bit and nibbled gently.  She pinches.

He rubbed her body deeply.  She arches.

He fingered her clit .  She strokes.

He brought his fingers to her mouth.  She tastes.

He whispered hotly in her ear.  She moans.

He kissed her passionately.  She bites.

He caressed her ass.  She clenches.

His fingers stroked her sweet wetness.  She squeezes.

His cock hard and deep inside.  She thrusts.

Opening her eyes, they lock with his.  She gasps.

He says "Cum now."  She shatters.

Whew!  What a hot little prompt this week!  Such fun as always.  Hope you all have a very nice weekend!  

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Exploring D/s

I admit it.  I'm curious.  I read the 50 Shades books last summer like almost every other woman in America.  And before then i've never once thought of myself as submissive. Bitch on wheels, yes.  But submissive..not so much.

Back to the books.   Regardless of what you thought of the writing (personally..it was terrible), it brought a somewhat taboo and misunderstood subject into the mainstream. And I think that is a very good thing.  It made me curious for sure.  And I have a tendency to do my research when intrigued.

Thankfully I had someone I could turn to for first-hand knowledge.  I work with an
experienced sub who was in the lifestyle for years.  She gave me very good information and she read the books too and told me what was real and what was unrealistic.  She lead me to some very good websites for information and told me of her experiences.

Finally, I had to break out on my own.  I joined a "lifestyle" site and made contact with some Doms.  I was nervous, excited, even scared.  My friend had told me what to ask to help me separate the fakes from the real Doms.  But still, it was nervewracking.  However,.. I was fortunate and I met some truly nice people who were willing to answer my questions.  I made more friends and close contacts there than I had on AM actually.

I vividly remember stammering, stuttering and almost hyperventilating when I first called someone "Sir."  I also remember the immediate almost gushing response when I first heard the words, "Good girl."  D/s, BDSM, TTWD or however you refer to it, isn't all about the leather, whips, chains, pain or humiliation as portrayed in porn or misguided mainstream media. It's the amazing trust and the level of communication between the person to whom you CHOOSE to gift your submission that appeals to me most.

From my limited research, these relationships are based in trust and very close communication.  The submissives are in charge and permit their Dom/mes to help them explore their limits safely, sane and consensually.  When it works, I think it can be a rare and amazing thing.  And isn't that what we're all searching for, really?

I hope you find it on whatever avenue you're wandering tonight.

Monday, November 11, 2013


I am not Jessica.

The other week I didn't participate in Advizor's FFF prompt where he asked you to share an Oops story of your own.  But I had a pretty good one happen to me over the weekend and it was all straightened out today.  Well maybe.

I on occasion enjoy chatting with men online.  Lately I've "met" a wonderful man.  He's handsome, funny, intelligent and sexy.  A dangerous combination.  He actually made contact with me through the blog.  We've emailed for awhile and now we've made the progression to instant messaging.  Last week we spoke on the phone for the first time.  It was a pleasure to hear his voice and I really enjoyed chatting and joking and laughing with him.  He IM'd me his number and I added it to my contacts list.  We got a chance to chat again briefly the next day.

Before leaving for work I sent him a text telling him how much I enjoyed our chat today.  His response "Same here.  Are you leaving now?"  I responded I was already at work and he asked for how long and I told him.  Later at work that evening I hear my phone chirp and check my messages.  I smiled seeing it was him and opened the message to see this: Jessica.

I laugh thinking he texted the wrong person and sent him an email jokingly asking "Who's Jessica?"  His reply "Jessica?"  And that was it.  OK.  I have to state this.  I overthink and overanalyze everything.  It is something I know I have to work on.  By the end of the weekend, I've imagined that he's been busted by his wife and she's sent me the text as a message for him.  YES, I KNOW!  I drive myself crazy, too...lol.

We finally make contact Sunday night again and he assures me the phone is safe and he will check it.  We continue to IM and it was a hot time and fun was had by all. ;)  He sweetly sent me a good morning email and I immediately ask him to check the phone.  Nothing and I'm mystified.

We message each other throughout the day.  I'm off work on Mondays (yay!) and finally I ask if he's ever received a text from me and he says no. I obviously then confirm his number and sure enough I've been texting XXX-889-XXXX and his number is actually XXX-899-XXXX.  My undiagnosed dyslexia has struck again!  We have a good laugh and I'm a little embarassed at all my imagined drama I created over the weekend.

But kudos to that unknown person in XYZ state for playing along...lol.  Who knew that just a name in an innocent text could create such a tempest in the teapot in my mind!

Happy Veterans Day

Thank you veterans for your service and sacrifices.  

Friday, November 8, 2013

FFF-11/8-All Aboard!

Required Words - Conductor, Ticket, Destination

Word Limit - 200 words, exactly

Forbidden words - suitcase, vulva, Wysteria, or Horwarts Express

Bonus Points - Remember that private compartments cost triple that of a regular seat.

Extra Words - Include a rhyming couplet = 25 words, Name her Tammy = 15 words. Put her in charge = 25 words. BUT, you can only chose one of the Extra word categories.

Get on board with Advizor this week and every week for all your FFF fun.  

"How will I recognize her?"  asked the conductor.

"Oh you'll know, trust me.  It's late so no one should notice an unscheduled stop.  Just get her on board quickly," he said.

Brazenly she stood in the station waiting clad in her sexiest lingerie.  She was so excited to learn of his weekend hobby working at a rail yard.  Ever since she was a child watching her grandfather move freight on trains, she was fascinated.  Unusual for a little girl, she wanted to be an engineer.

But as life happens the memory of those childhood dreams fade.  She moves away searching for excitement, romance, success, LOVE.  Years later divorced, disillusioned; she's home again.  Her mother at wit's end with her sloven lifestyle shoves her out the door.  

"Go! Walk, Run!  There's a new trail in town."  Grudgingly she agrees.  And that's where she met THE ENGINEER.  Her childhood dream come to life.  He ran up next to her and delivered the ultimate opening line.

"Do you know the name of this trail?" 

"No...what is it?"  Whispering..the Dick and Willie passage.

He caught her as she stumbled.  Laughing up at him, feeling the instant chemistry, and thinking..maybe he can get me to my final destination.  

She slid silently into the compartment.  

Ok no lie it exists and here's proof.

I just have to wonder how many folks here in Bible-Belt USA realize the irony.  Seriously.  Y'all have a good weekend.  

Very special thanks to T.R. for real life inspiration this week.  ;)

Monday, November 4, 2013

Presenting: The Rules of AM

I'm so excited!  My first guest blogger appearance by none other than The Regular Guy himself, Mr. Ryan Beaumont.  His blog features his Ashley Madison Adventures told in a fun, witty and only slightly dysfunctional way peppered with recipes, reviews and with theme music!  He has invited me to join Ryan's Roundtable of Ravishing Beauties (The R.B's) and add an intro with perhaps a few of my own rules of Ashley Madison.

I think one of the most important things when you create your profile is to know what you want from this.  Is it just casual sex, a long-term affair or finding a fuck buddy or Friend w Benefits?  Waffling or not knowing could cause issues down the road.  Later if you find that what you want has changed i.e. falling for a fuck buddy then you need to communicate that quickly.  One of my personal rules is Beware the Picture Collectors.  I had never sent many naughty pics and only to my then-boyfriend.  Then I log onto AM and get bombarded with pic requests.  Eek.  I certainly don't mind sending NOW and to men I choose to share them with.  However, if you're chatting and trying to develop a rapport with me, then constantly asking me for pictures is a surefire way to send me in the opposite direction.  Oh and if that cell phone era question of whether or not to send a dick pic rears its head (heh) in your mind.  Please watch the following advice here.

Each of us and each AM relationship is going to have their own personal rules or guidelines. However, I think Ryan has drawn an interesting parallel that should benefit us all or provide entertainment.  But enough from me.  Without further adieu, Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Ryan Beaumont.

Thus Spoke Zarathustra
or the Rules of Ashley Madison

1.  You don’t talk about Ashley Madison to your spouse (you blog about it)
2.  You don’t talk about Ashley Madison to your spouse (you blog about it)
3.  If someone says “stop” or quits writing after 2 messages the hook up is over; no regrets, no more wasted credits.
4.  Only two people to a message (be original to the next lady)
5.  As many AM partners as possible until all fantasies are found or the best partner arises.
6.  No shirts, no shoes, no underwear, no regrets!
7.  Affairs and the resulting sex will go on as long as they need to.
8.  If this is your first time on AM, you have to respond (at least once).
The other day I was busy not working as I am often want to do.  I began chatting with Sassy and she told me of her upcoming series of Ashley Madison experiential posts.  That got us to thinking about Ashley Madison.  Soon I realized that Ashley Madison needs rules thus formalizing it and making it a true institution worthy of all this blogging.  Of course once I realized AM needed rules I realized that perhaps it already had rules that just needed to be illuminated.  Well really I just thought maybe somebody had already done the work for me and I could just cut and paste.  I thought about movies and songs I had heard and seen and realized that “Fight Club,” that brilliant 1999 Cult Classic, had rules thus already providing the perfect form for this manifesto.  This was perfect, I could just rip that off, why make Nihilism hard you know!
I did my usual “wiki research” on Fight Club and realized it was in fact the perfect metaphor for Ashley Madison.  The themes it uses include “Rebel without a Cause” and Nietzschean pedagogy.  In a world diluted by the “despair and paralysis people feel from a value system grown out of advertising,” Ashley Madison is the perfect surrender and thus synthesis of that market driven pursuit while simultaneously rising above and defeating the “eternal recurrence of the same.”  Ashley Madison provides that Nihilistic pursuit of “life affirmation.”  Life’s pursuits on Ashley Madison are a trek towards questioning the “doctrines that drain one’s expansive energies.”  I know, I know “you really are full of it today Beaumont;” I hear you thinking!
But let’s really break down all the Nihilistic Existentialism and where it leads.  You see a little Nietzsche can be a dangerous thing, just like AM, left in the wrong hands.  We need rules to make it right.  I know rules and Nietzsche don’t mix but perhaps a thought by Jean Paul Sartre can pull this together for us.  Sure Sartre felt man had no inherent value but you have to read on.  Btw, it’s the fact that someone has treated someone else with no apparent value that leads us to Ashley Madison in the first place, right!?
See Sartre felt that existence precedes essence.  While it may be true that one’s essence is more immutable than one’s existence, one’s existence in pursuit of consciousness ultimately creates value and the underlying meaning of life.  It is that pursuit of consciousness that creates essence and formation of essence is what makes life worth living.
Although now as I’m thinking about this from the female perspective I’m thinking what do these Euro dudes know about women?  Well if you don’t want to take the word of some French or German guy that looks like he never had sex with anything other than his left hand, let’s look to Simone de Beauvoir (not a cousin of mine) who said “one is not born a woman, she becomes one.”  I would take that a step forward and say too often women realize that they do not transform into “womanhood” via marriage.  Too often they look up in their 30’s or 40’s and say “who am I and how did I get here?  Did I choose this path or was it chosen for me?  And if I’m on this path can I get off?”  Again, the pursuit of consciousness and the underlying achievement of essence forms the meaning of our humanity (or for Simone “womanhood”).
But let’s get back to fight club.  Why should all the philosophical gobledygook mean that the Rules of Fight Club should be segued into a Rules of Ashley Madison.  Let’s see if the two paths indeed cross!
Two early quotes in Fight Club lead to it’s basic theme “losing all hope is freedom” and “when you have lost everything you are free to do anything.”  And there you go, it’s often that we log onto AM at the point we lose all hope and we just might find freedom.  Perhaps you are not on AM because you lost all hope but in the words of Tyler Durden “never be complete, evolve!”
What you realize quickly on AM, much like Fight Club, is that “who you (are on AM) is not who you (are) in the real world.”  It is true that once an affair starts or even ends nothing is really solved but nothing is wholly wasted either.  I will paraphrase a Tyler quote which I believe sums it all up:  you are looking for a way to change your path in life and you need a roadmap or at least some directional signage.  That could be AM.  On AM you can look the way you want to look, fuck the way you want to fuck.  You will find that in someone’s eyes you are sexy, smart, and capable and perhaps most importantly are free to be the person you want to be.   So as Ed Norton’s character in the movie is so fond of “single serving friends,” you might just try out a “single serving” affair partner and see where that leads.  It may be that doorway or first step toward essence.
We make choices in life but they are part of an evolution.  So while I never would say ignore your commitments to the one’s who matter in your life, I would say get busy evolving!  And follow those damn rules!
Wow, that was a lot of thoughtifying bull *hit.  You know now that I think about it I could have just ripped off a quote from that other Nihilistic Cult Classic Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and saved us all the last five minutes of our life.  I think I’ll do that now!
Of course a better way to get from that “tabula rasa” to “vini vidi vici” moment is through blogging!
“O man, take care!
What does the deep midnight declare?
"I was asleep—
From a deep dream I woke and swear:—
The world is deep,
Deeper than day had been aware.
Deep is its woe—
Joy—deeper yet than agony:
Woe implores: Go!
But all joy wants eternity—
Wants deep, wants deep eternity."
from Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happy Halloween!

First thank you all for the nice comments and birthday wishes!  Halloween is probably my favorite "holiday".  When I was a kid, it was the Ultimate.  My birthday, Halloween and our school had our Halloween carnival.  I liked dressing up but I always hated those plastic masks with the rubberbands.  Of course now they don't have those anymore.  They really were creepy looking thinking back on it.  Well, I hope everyone has a nice night with all your little ghosts and goblins.  If you're going out partying, have fun and get home safe!  Here are a few tricks and treats!

Think they need lube?
I triple dog dare you to knock on that door!
Always be yourself.  Unless you can be Batman.  ALWAYS BE BATMAN!
Just a friendly little ghost...lol.  
Hope you all have a very nice Halloween!

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

A New Leaf

Yesterday my mom and nephew took me out to lunch.  It was my birthday.  She brought me some balloons into the restaurant.  My nephew was very sweet and gave me my card and a big hug.  While we were waiting for our food, two young ladies came into the restaurant excited because they were unexpectedly out of work early.  They were young, in their 20s and they grabbed a booth on the opposite side of the restaurant.

We were sitting there enjoying our food when I heard a call from across the restaurant.  "Is it your birthday?" one of the young ladies asked and I replied we were celebrating mine and my nephew's birthday.  Our main dish was served when suddenly one of the ladies appeared at our table and handed my nephew and I a dollar.

What a sweet gesture.  I was extremely touched by this random act of kindness by a complete stranger.  It was just a dollar.  Not much of anything in this day.  But the thought behind it, made my day and possibly my whole year.  Lately I have done nothing but complain about my job, my living situation, my weight creeping up and lack of social life. These are all things I can control and change.

When our meal was done, my mom offered to take me shopping and we headed to the mall. I walked around a bit but wasn't feeling it (I know..me not wanting to shop.  I love shopping!)  I went to a gas station to fill up and while paying, I impulsively bought a $1 lottery ticket.  Sure enough, I won $25!  Happy birthday to me!

Knowing I had to go to work but I didn't really have time to go home, I drove around a bit and passed a sign for our local reservoir which is near the office.  I pulled in and grabbed my phone to take some pics.  It was a beautiful, warm fall day.  As I walked around I thought about that dollar and the girl who gave it to me as I was looking at the gorgeous fall leaves around me.  I began writing this post in my head right then.  I could change my color too.  I could go from this rather bleak image:

To this colorful explosion

I will change my color.  I'm going to take control of the things I can change about myself. Stop whining and Just Do It!

Amazing what can happen from just a random act of kindness by a complete stranger. Next time I want to be that stranger.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Checking In

Hi folks!  Just thought I would check in and see how it's going in the blogosphere.  Not much happening here.  Work, home, eat, sleep....and repeat.  Still job hunting.  I was not feeling well at all last week but seem to have recovered except for a lingering headache I can't seem to shake.

It is Big Sporting Event weekend here so there is a little excitement in town.  On Sunday the town's population will double if not more.  It is always a lot of fun to attend.  I am a people person and used to work in the hospitality suites.  I loved meeting people from all over the country and hearing their stories.  The tips weren't so bad either!

On other fronts, things seem to have slowed a bit.  I'm not seeing anyone and am worried my little sex blog is going to turn into a sports blog.  (Go Red Sox!)  My adventures with Rob
have necessarily slowed due to end of baseball season and fewer opportunities but we're still in touch and if anything comes up (heh!), I'm sure he'll let me know.  There always seem to be a couple new prospects out there but so far no one is making serious moves to get together...well maybe one.  :)

As far as the other night, it may have been a little exaggerated.  A couple of hot chats with some fine fellas and I was raring to go.  So that led to an extended play session with the vib and what seemed like a never-ending orgasm, followed by hot, erotic dreams and waking up in the middle of another one.  Well, let's just say it was a good night and would have been so much better if i'd had a man on hand so to speak.

Next week is Halloween and it is always one of my favorite times of the year.  I love the kids in costumes and the fun parties (although I'm probably not going to make any this year).  Plus Halloween is 2 days after my birthday so that always adds to the excitement!

Well that's what's been going on with me.  Hope everyone has a great Halloween!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

All Smiles

I can't help it.  I'm just all smiles right now.  I feel so good.  Crazy!  And no one even touched me last night.  But it was one of the most erotic nights of my life.   I just can't explain it.

Friday, October 18, 2013

FFF-10/18- In the Year of the Cat

Required Phrase - "Follow the cat"
Word Limit - 225
Forbidden words - 
Pussy, Black, Halloween, Fear
Bonus Points - 
Keep the body count low (next week is different) 
Extra Words - 
Make the cat her cat.

The signal was getting stronger and she had to get there fast.  She ran quickly losing her shoes.  It had taken her all night to think where she had left Him.  How could she "lose" The Guardian?!  

"Idiot!"  She thought, berating herself.  But there had been so many.  Brian in Denver.  Samuel in San Francisco.  Shane in Dallas.  Enrique, Will and that tall guy Lee something in Miami.  Pablo in Cabo.  Raoul in Rio.  Josef in Tel Aviv.  And the list went on and  on.  No wonder she had forgot where she left Him.

The Guardian sat in the window enjoying the sunbeam that had fast become a real pleasure during his Earth visit.  He had heard the signal last night.  He sat patiently in the window waiting for her.  Spotting her he jumped down from the window sill.

"Hey buddy,"  he said.  "Want some milk?"  Heading to the kitchen, he stopped in his path when he heard the buzzer.  

Panting and trying to catch her breath, she waited to be buzzed in.  He answered quickly and she ran upstairs, the urgent sound of the signal growing louder.  She knocked on the door.  Keith opened it and gasped when he saw her.


"Hi Keith!  I'm sorry there's no time to explain!  I need to get my cat!"  Keith turned around and let her in.  

"Nicole, where have you been?  I never thought I would see you again."

"Oh Cyrus sweetie!  There you are!"  Scooping the cat in her arms, she turned to go.

Keith blocked her path.  "Not so fast.  Take your cat, but leave my sweater."  Shedding the sweater, she threw it at him and grabbed the cat and ran for the door.  

Placing The Guardian on the floor in the hallway.  He purred up at her and asked what she had learned while conducting the experiment.  

"Well sir I think it's safe to say the males here "Follow the pu....ummm...cat on Earth as much as any other planet." 

I had 2 ideas this week but I was sick and just decided to combine them so they may seem kind of choppy.  The first thing that popped in my head when I saw the pic was the line in that Keith Urban song used above "Take your cat but leave my sweater."   I don't normally read science fiction but the required phrase made me think "Take me to your leader"  So that was my kind of crazy, fever dream take this week.  Have a nice weekend everybody.