Thursday, November 28, 2013

FFF-Black Friday

Key Words:  Family, gravy boat, butter knife
Word Limit:  1621 seems like too many, so 261.1
Forbidden words:  cock, caught, eat, feast, satiated
Extra Credit:  Let's keep it within the (extended) family

Bonus Words: Donate 5 cans of food to your local

"Good morning, hun.  Coffee ready?"

She kissed him as she put the mug in his hand.   He leaned on the counter  and surveyed the kitchen.  All was in order now but later after everyone arrived it would look like a plundered battlefield.  Oh well, it was worth it to have his family home again.

"Do we have any champagne in the house?" she asked.

"I think we drank the last bottles for your birthday.  We have plenty of wine.  Why do we need champagne?"

"It's Jason, of course.  I think he's going to propose to Candace.  We'll need something to celebrate."

"How can he propose and I've never even met her!"  His roar shook the gravy boat!  Muttering about gold diggers and pregnancy traps, he paced the kitchen.   She eased him down on the barstool, rubbing his shoulders.  Looking him in the eye, she shook and reassured him with a glance.  Their son had never taken a wrong step yet.

"I think I have a magnum or two at the office.  I'll just get some air and get it real quick."  He grabbed his phone and sent a quick text as he headed out the door.  

She met him at the office.  He seemed to need her more than usual.   He grabbed her immediately and pushed her against the wall.   He forced himself deep down her throat.  She sucked him greedily.  He ripped off her thong and pushed himself deep inside.

She cleaned up hastily knowing she couldnt see him again.

He answered the door, smiling seeing his son.

"Dad, this is Candace."

Cande exhaled as she walked in.  Already feeling like one of the family, she winked at "Dad".

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everyone has a very nice holiday with their friends and family.  Stay safe out there. Quite unusually it is snowing here today but there is no accumulation expected.  I just wanted to take the time to say thank you to the followers of this blog and how much I appreciate everyone who's commented here.  Although new at this, everyone has welcomed me so kindly and I've enjoyed it immensely.  Enjoy the feasting, football and family time.  Oh and Happy Hanukkah too!

Friday, November 22, 2013

FFF-11/22-Up The Waterspout

Key Words:  (searching or seeking) and asphalt
Word Limit:  210
Forbidden words:  flippers
Extra Credit:  What kind of trees are in the background?
Bonus Words: Donate to the Red Cross fund for the Philippines hurricane relief, or to their general fund  1 word per dollar.

Thank you so much, Advizor for choosing my suggestion this week. And what a wonderful gesture encouraging people to donate to the Phillipines relief effort.  

She knew better than to swim during a storm but she was seeking something as wild and free as she.  Swimming desperately away from the waterspout, she felt her body being lifted- transported. When she came to, Belinda found herself in a strange land.  It was flat and those trees weren't her native palms.  Wherever she was, it was obvious she wasn't in Oz anymore.  

She began walking toward the only landmark she recognized, the black (fool's gold?) brick road. As she walked and gazed around she flashed back to tales told to her by her grandmother, Glinda. Of a strange visitor landing from "Kansas", a flat uninteresting land much like she was surrounded by now. Of her grandmother's close friend Dorothy and her little dog too. A metal man. And a straw one, flying monkeys, and a pail of water, lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

As she at last reached the edge of the gray bricks, she collapsed.  She watched the approach of the strange vehicle.  Pulling alongside the depleted mermaid, Dorothy made her way painfully to the side of her friend's progeny sprawled on the scalding asphalt.  At last she knew how to return the gift of ruby slippers she had been given long ago...she leaned over and whispered in the mermaid's ear, "there's no place like home."

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Tuesday Funnies

Because Mondays are well, Mondays.  Wednesday is Hump Day.  Thursday you're gearing up for the weekend and, of course, Thank God for Fridays.  Apparently nothing good happens on a Tuesday.  Plus I just think these are funny and decided to share.

Please leave your answer to "what's the question?" in the comments.

Yoga pant

May the Force be with him.

I think Batman can take him.  

Happy Tuesday everyone!  :)

Monday, November 18, 2013

Monday Roundup

Hello!  It was an absolutely beautiful fall day here today.  Temps in the mid-60s and gorgeous blue skies.  (I refuse to say Carolina blue!  I hate the Heels!!)  My weekend was uneventful as usual but I did have something to look forward to this week.  Thankfully today I had a chance to get out and about and enjoy this lovely weather.

Rob and I haven't met in awhile but we do chat often.  Early on I fell into the habit of asking him "what's for lunch?"  Most days his usual response is a microwave meal.  So today I "saved" him from his usual response and bought him lunch.  The brisket was good but I was just so glad to see him.  Our conversation wound down and he walked me out.  My eyes were begging him for a kiss.  He hesitated but then pulled me close and kissed me. YES!  So worth it.  Later I texted that I wished I had him for dessert.  I think he agreed.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Flash Fiction Friday-11/15- She Remembers

FFF Challenge - You have 100 words to make me cum.

You get 25 extra words if you write it on Thursday and do it in one draft, typos and all.

Short and simple this week.  Go see Advizor to play along.  Apparently he's in quite the mood this week.  :)

Closing her eyes, she slides her hand between her legs.  She remembers.

He pulled and tugged her nipples.  She twists.

He bit and nibbled gently.  She pinches.

He rubbed her body deeply.  She arches.

He fingered her clit .  She strokes.

He brought his fingers to her mouth.  She tastes.

He whispered hotly in her ear.  She moans.

He kissed her passionately.  She bites.

He caressed her ass.  She clenches.

His fingers stroked her sweet wetness.  She squeezes.

His cock hard and deep inside.  She thrusts.

Opening her eyes, they lock with his.  She gasps.

He says "Cum now."  She shatters.

Whew!  What a hot little prompt this week!  Such fun as always.  Hope you all have a very nice weekend!  

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Exploring D/s

I admit it.  I'm curious.  I read the 50 Shades books last summer like almost every other woman in America.  And before then i've never once thought of myself as submissive. Bitch on wheels, yes.  But submissive..not so much.

Back to the books.   Regardless of what you thought of the writing ( was terrible), it brought a somewhat taboo and misunderstood subject into the mainstream. And I think that is a very good thing.  It made me curious for sure.  And I have a tendency to do my research when intrigued.

Thankfully I had someone I could turn to for first-hand knowledge.  I work with an
experienced sub who was in the lifestyle for years.  She gave me very good information and she read the books too and told me what was real and what was unrealistic.  She lead me to some very good websites for information and told me of her experiences.

Finally, I had to break out on my own.  I joined a "lifestyle" site and made contact with some Doms.  I was nervous, excited, even scared.  My friend had told me what to ask to help me separate the fakes from the real Doms.  But still, it was nervewracking.  However,.. I was fortunate and I met some truly nice people who were willing to answer my questions.  I made more friends and close contacts there than I had on AM actually.

I vividly remember stammering, stuttering and almost hyperventilating when I first called someone "Sir."  I also remember the immediate almost gushing response when I first heard the words, "Good girl."  D/s, BDSM, TTWD or however you refer to it, isn't all about the leather, whips, chains, pain or humiliation as portrayed in porn or misguided mainstream media. It's the amazing trust and the level of communication between the person to whom you CHOOSE to gift your submission that appeals to me most.

From my limited research, these relationships are based in trust and very close communication.  The submissives are in charge and permit their Dom/mes to help them explore their limits safely, sane and consensually.  When it works, I think it can be a rare and amazing thing.  And isn't that what we're all searching for, really?

I hope you find it on whatever avenue you're wandering tonight.

Monday, November 11, 2013


I am not Jessica.

The other week I didn't participate in Advizor's FFF prompt where he asked you to share an Oops story of your own.  But I had a pretty good one happen to me over the weekend and it was all straightened out today.  Well maybe.

I on occasion enjoy chatting with men online.  Lately I've "met" a wonderful man.  He's handsome, funny, intelligent and sexy.  A dangerous combination.  He actually made contact with me through the blog.  We've emailed for awhile and now we've made the progression to instant messaging.  Last week we spoke on the phone for the first time.  It was a pleasure to hear his voice and I really enjoyed chatting and joking and laughing with him.  He IM'd me his number and I added it to my contacts list.  We got a chance to chat again briefly the next day.

Before leaving for work I sent him a text telling him how much I enjoyed our chat today.  His response "Same here.  Are you leaving now?"  I responded I was already at work and he asked for how long and I told him.  Later at work that evening I hear my phone chirp and check my messages.  I smiled seeing it was him and opened the message to see this: Jessica.

I laugh thinking he texted the wrong person and sent him an email jokingly asking "Who's Jessica?"  His reply "Jessica?"  And that was it.  OK.  I have to state this.  I overthink and overanalyze everything.  It is something I know I have to work on.  By the end of the weekend, I've imagined that he's been busted by his wife and she's sent me the text as a message for him.  YES, I KNOW!  I drive myself crazy,

We finally make contact Sunday night again and he assures me the phone is safe and he will check it.  We continue to IM and it was a hot time and fun was had by all. ;)  He sweetly sent me a good morning email and I immediately ask him to check the phone.  Nothing and I'm mystified.

We message each other throughout the day.  I'm off work on Mondays (yay!) and finally I ask if he's ever received a text from me and he says no. I obviously then confirm his number and sure enough I've been texting XXX-889-XXXX and his number is actually XXX-899-XXXX.  My undiagnosed dyslexia has struck again!  We have a good laugh and I'm a little embarassed at all my imagined drama I created over the weekend.

But kudos to that unknown person in XYZ state for playing  Who knew that just a name in an innocent text could create such a tempest in the teapot in my mind!

Happy Veterans Day

Thank you veterans for your service and sacrifices.  

Friday, November 8, 2013

FFF-11/8-All Aboard!

Required Words - Conductor, Ticket, Destination

Word Limit - 200 words, exactly

Forbidden words - suitcase, vulva, Wysteria, or Horwarts Express

Bonus Points - Remember that private compartments cost triple that of a regular seat.

Extra Words - Include a rhyming couplet = 25 words, Name her Tammy = 15 words. Put her in charge = 25 words. BUT, you can only chose one of the Extra word categories.

Get on board with Advizor this week and every week for all your FFF fun.  

"How will I recognize her?"  asked the conductor.

"Oh you'll know, trust me.  It's late so no one should notice an unscheduled stop.  Just get her on board quickly," he said.

Brazenly she stood in the station waiting clad in her sexiest lingerie.  She was so excited to learn of his weekend hobby working at a rail yard.  Ever since she was a child watching her grandfather move freight on trains, she was fascinated.  Unusual for a little girl, she wanted to be an engineer.

But as life happens the memory of those childhood dreams fade.  She moves away searching for excitement, romance, success, LOVE.  Years later divorced, disillusioned; she's home again.  Her mother at wit's end with her sloven lifestyle shoves her out the door.  

"Go! Walk, Run!  There's a new trail in town."  Grudgingly she agrees.  And that's where she met THE ENGINEER.  Her childhood dream come to life.  He ran up next to her and delivered the ultimate opening line.

"Do you know the name of this trail?" 

"No...what is it?"  Whispering..the Dick and Willie passage.

He caught her as she stumbled.  Laughing up at him, feeling the instant chemistry, and thinking..maybe he can get me to my final destination.  

She slid silently into the compartment.  

Ok no lie it exists and here's proof.

I just have to wonder how many folks here in Bible-Belt USA realize the irony.  Seriously.  Y'all have a good weekend.  

Very special thanks to T.R. for real life inspiration this week.  ;)

Monday, November 4, 2013

Presenting: The Rules of AM

I'm so excited!  My first guest blogger appearance by none other than The Regular Guy himself, Mr. Ryan Beaumont.  His blog features his Ashley Madison Adventures told in a fun, witty and only slightly dysfunctional way peppered with recipes, reviews and with theme music!  He has invited me to join Ryan's Roundtable of Ravishing Beauties (The R.B's) and add an intro with perhaps a few of my own rules of Ashley Madison.

I think one of the most important things when you create your profile is to know what you want from this.  Is it just casual sex, a long-term affair or finding a fuck buddy or Friend w Benefits?  Waffling or not knowing could cause issues down the road.  Later if you find that what you want has changed i.e. falling for a fuck buddy then you need to communicate that quickly.  One of my personal rules is Beware the Picture Collectors.  I had never sent many naughty pics and only to my then-boyfriend.  Then I log onto AM and get bombarded with pic requests.  Eek.  I certainly don't mind sending NOW and to men I choose to share them with.  However, if you're chatting and trying to develop a rapport with me, then constantly asking me for pictures is a surefire way to send me in the opposite direction.  Oh and if that cell phone era question of whether or not to send a dick pic rears its head (heh) in your mind.  Please watch the following advice here.

Each of us and each AM relationship is going to have their own personal rules or guidelines. However, I think Ryan has drawn an interesting parallel that should benefit us all or provide entertainment.  But enough from me.  Without further adieu, Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Ryan Beaumont.

Thus Spoke Zarathustra
or the Rules of Ashley Madison

1.  You don’t talk about Ashley Madison to your spouse (you blog about it)
2.  You don’t talk about Ashley Madison to your spouse (you blog about it)
3.  If someone says “stop” or quits writing after 2 messages the hook up is over; no regrets, no more wasted credits.
4.  Only two people to a message (be original to the next lady)
5.  As many AM partners as possible until all fantasies are found or the best partner arises.
6.  No shirts, no shoes, no underwear, no regrets!
7.  Affairs and the resulting sex will go on as long as they need to.
8.  If this is your first time on AM, you have to respond (at least once).
The other day I was busy not working as I am often want to do.  I began chatting with Sassy and she told me of her upcoming series of Ashley Madison experiential posts.  That got us to thinking about Ashley Madison.  Soon I realized that Ashley Madison needs rules thus formalizing it and making it a true institution worthy of all this blogging.  Of course once I realized AM needed rules I realized that perhaps it already had rules that just needed to be illuminated.  Well really I just thought maybe somebody had already done the work for me and I could just cut and paste.  I thought about movies and songs I had heard and seen and realized that “Fight Club,” that brilliant 1999 Cult Classic, had rules thus already providing the perfect form for this manifesto.  This was perfect, I could just rip that off, why make Nihilism hard you know!
I did my usual “wiki research” on Fight Club and realized it was in fact the perfect metaphor for Ashley Madison.  The themes it uses include “Rebel without a Cause” and Nietzschean pedagogy.  In a world diluted by the “despair and paralysis people feel from a value system grown out of advertising,” Ashley Madison is the perfect surrender and thus synthesis of that market driven pursuit while simultaneously rising above and defeating the “eternal recurrence of the same.”  Ashley Madison provides that Nihilistic pursuit of “life affirmation.”  Life’s pursuits on Ashley Madison are a trek towards questioning the “doctrines that drain one’s expansive energies.”  I know, I know “you really are full of it today Beaumont;” I hear you thinking!
But let’s really break down all the Nihilistic Existentialism and where it leads.  You see a little Nietzsche can be a dangerous thing, just like AM, left in the wrong hands.  We need rules to make it right.  I know rules and Nietzsche don’t mix but perhaps a thought by Jean Paul Sartre can pull this together for us.  Sure Sartre felt man had no inherent value but you have to read on.  Btw, it’s the fact that someone has treated someone else with no apparent value that leads us to Ashley Madison in the first place, right!?
See Sartre felt that existence precedes essence.  While it may be true that one’s essence is more immutable than one’s existence, one’s existence in pursuit of consciousness ultimately creates value and the underlying meaning of life.  It is that pursuit of consciousness that creates essence and formation of essence is what makes life worth living.
Although now as I’m thinking about this from the female perspective I’m thinking what do these Euro dudes know about women?  Well if you don’t want to take the word of some French or German guy that looks like he never had sex with anything other than his left hand, let’s look to Simone de Beauvoir (not a cousin of mine) who said “one is not born a woman, she becomes one.”  I would take that a step forward and say too often women realize that they do not transform into “womanhood” via marriage.  Too often they look up in their 30’s or 40’s and say “who am I and how did I get here?  Did I choose this path or was it chosen for me?  And if I’m on this path can I get off?”  Again, the pursuit of consciousness and the underlying achievement of essence forms the meaning of our humanity (or for Simone “womanhood”).
But let’s get back to fight club.  Why should all the philosophical gobledygook mean that the Rules of Fight Club should be segued into a Rules of Ashley Madison.  Let’s see if the two paths indeed cross!
Two early quotes in Fight Club lead to it’s basic theme “losing all hope is freedom” and “when you have lost everything you are free to do anything.”  And there you go, it’s often that we log onto AM at the point we lose all hope and we just might find freedom.  Perhaps you are not on AM because you lost all hope but in the words of Tyler Durden “never be complete, evolve!”
What you realize quickly on AM, much like Fight Club, is that “who you (are on AM) is not who you (are) in the real world.”  It is true that once an affair starts or even ends nothing is really solved but nothing is wholly wasted either.  I will paraphrase a Tyler quote which I believe sums it all up:  you are looking for a way to change your path in life and you need a roadmap or at least some directional signage.  That could be AM.  On AM you can look the way you want to look, fuck the way you want to fuck.  You will find that in someone’s eyes you are sexy, smart, and capable and perhaps most importantly are free to be the person you want to be.   So as Ed Norton’s character in the movie is so fond of “single serving friends,” you might just try out a “single serving” affair partner and see where that leads.  It may be that doorway or first step toward essence.
We make choices in life but they are part of an evolution.  So while I never would say ignore your commitments to the one’s who matter in your life, I would say get busy evolving!  And follow those damn rules!
Wow, that was a lot of thoughtifying bull *hit.  You know now that I think about it I could have just ripped off a quote from that other Nihilistic Cult Classic Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and saved us all the last five minutes of our life.  I think I’ll do that now!
Of course a better way to get from that “tabula rasa” to “vini vidi vici” moment is through blogging!
“O man, take care!
What does the deep midnight declare?
"I was asleep—
From a deep dream I woke and swear:—
The world is deep,
Deeper than day had been aware.
Deep is its woe—
Joy—deeper yet than agony:
Woe implores: Go!
But all joy wants eternity—
Wants deep, wants deep eternity."
from Thus Spoke Zarathustra