Tuesday, July 2, 2013

The F Word

NO!!  Not that one.  The REALLY bad one (at least in my mind) was Forty.  The big 4-0.  Yes, yes I know.  Age is just a number, it's all in how you feel and for sure it's better than the alternative.  But I struggled with it.  It was the end of my 30's and in my mind, it felt like the end of my youth. 

It was 2011.  I had been out of work for 18 months (I live in a really depressed area).  I lost my house to foreclosure.  I had to move back in with my Mom.  And there it was.  I was the stereotype...a near 40 yr old living in her mother's basement.  My worst nightmare.  Except it was worse than that.  I had let my weight balloon to near 250 lbs.  (YIKES..I know!)  So I was a fat, sluggish, almost 40 yr old living in her mother's basement.  Needless to say I had zero self-esteem and faced with this milestone coming up I knew something had to change. 

I couldn't change the number so I changed me.  I eventually landed a job and was blessed to work with some great people, have a terrific mentor and make some very good friends.  Oh and I lost the weight...I lost 80 lbs in less than a year.  YAY ME!  It was an epiphany. 

Suddenly I wasn't invisible anymore.  People would look me in the eye.  I could actually shop WITH my friends in the same department.  I even noticed men's heads turning when I walked by.  (yes, it's an ego boost no matter what we women say).  I no longer looked down when I walked and held my head up to meet people's smiles.  I grew some confidence and people noticed.  I felt like a different person when 41 rolled around.  I didn't hide from that birthday, I celebrated it.  

Yes, age really is just a number.  My 40th year wound up being one of the most fun years of my life.  I met new people, made new friends-online and in real life.   I got out of the basement and began living again.  It's been a blast and I have lots to look forward to. 


  1. As a fellow (and perpetual) dieter, congratulations on the weight loss! I still have the same 30+ to lose that I had in March! Lol.

  2. Congratulations on taking charge and see where you can control the changes around you. That's an amazing effort and would make a great post. I look forward to hearing how you lost the weight, got the job, and moved out of the basement. Mainly 'cause my brother needs to read it and get out of my dad's house. LOL

    I hope to see more posts soon!

  3. Thx guys! My goal is the 100 lb mark but i'd settle for losing the 15 lbs. I've put back on this year. Oh well.

    Advizor-good luck w your brother. Sucks being the boomerang generation..lol. btw.will be doing FFF this wk.