Before my first Amorous Misadventure there was the beginning on AM. My grandmother (God rest her soul) once gave me a cute little statue of a toad and etched underneath was this: "Before you meet your handsome prince, you gotta kiss a lot of horny toads." I don't think Grandma really got the full implication of that statement but I was young enough then, I didn't either. But oh Grandma was wise even if she didn't realize it! In the little over a year I've been on AM, I've received hundreds of messages, winks, pic requests, and I don't even want to know how many dicks I've seen. I've still only actually met one person from there.
A lot of it is my location. I live in a small town in a rural area. I can't host and I don't have a lot of time, money or the inclination to drive an hour or two for a coffee date. But in the real world we exist in now, it is pretty easy to get to know someone rather well in the cyber world. Through Skype you can have any kind of date you want..coffee, wine, or "dessert" all from the comfort of your own living room or even your own bed. You can text or IM with someone all day at work and, of course, email. Isn't technology amazing? So I find this is most often how my encounters play out on AM. This isn't to say I'm not willing to meet, I am!
Even with just the one hookup, it's been fun from the beginning. The first guy to make contact, Oliver (not his real fake name...lol) set the bar pretty high. He is a couple hours away and for him I would totally make that drive! He is sexy and handsome, witty and charming and so intelligent I always had to be at the top of my game. I'll never forget our first few messages. He had responded to a note from me about how he would have rather spent that weekend by stating something about licking whipped cream from my legs. I happened to be standing in the break room at work when I read that. Realizing I needed to put my lunch away, I walked over to the fridge and opened the door only to see 4 cans of whipped cream standing there! My mouth dropped open and I busted out laughing.
It was, of course, just a coincidence...remnants from an ice cream party for the weekend shift. But there for a second my head whipped around looking for cameras. We both got a big kick out of it and I was a little sad when those cans finally disappeared from the fridge because Oliver seemed to vanish along with them. But he's still around and were he to even crook his little finger at me there's no doubt, I'd go running.
Crazily enough the second guy I made serious contact with, Tyler, featured another strange circumstance. I was heading to NOVA (Northern VA for those outside the Beltway) last Labor Day to visit my friends and attend a concert. I headed up the interstate excited and just couldn't wait to see my friends. I stopped and grabbed a bite to eat at Wendy's/gas station and filled the gas tank and headed on up the road not thinking any more about it. I got to the DC area and had a great time with my friends and Jimmy Buffett was in fine form.
After several late nights, my girlfriend crashed early. I was still in vacation mode and raring to go. I figured I would settle down and watch movies and fall asleep. However, my phone chirped and I was thrilled to see it was from Tyler asking how the weekend was going. We had exchanged a few emails but quickly progressed to texting. As he travels a lot, I asked him where he was. His answer shocked me a bit. He had just got to his hotel in Florida after leaving his latest project. In Virginia. At an exit off interstate XX...you know the one with the Wendy's/gas station! OMG!
He was there working on a commercial building project just a few hundred feet away as I was getting lunch and gas. I couldn't believe it and neither could he. If we had known, of course, we would have made the effort to get together. I guess I never mentioned where the concert was and he thought I was going to the Richmond side of the state. We laughed about it and wound up texting til all hours. I was a little tipsy and ended up sending him some naughty pix.
He sent me a face pic that night and I was immediately drawn to his entirely mischievous adorable grin! Combine that with his smart ass, sense of humor and I was a goner. But we never have gotten any closer than that few hundred feet. Work would bring him within driving distance to me but something would always come up for one or both of us. Don't ever give up though. He's recently been back in touch! :)
There have been lots more since then and in between. I know i've gone on and on and I did a complete 180 from where I intended to go. I meant to write about a recent blog/AM experiment conducted by the handsome, hilarious and the ever so charming Mr. Ryan Beaumont at his place, Ashley Madison Adventures of a Regular Guy Gone Bad (long titles is one of his most endearing traits). Hence the name of this post--I promise I wasn't trying to rip off his nom d'amour. So I invite you back to read the 2nd part to be continued later.